Separation Hurts

Human nature is designed such that we look for community. We are always happier meeting someone. And even if not happier meeting them, definitely sadder upon losing them. Every soul does manage to touch our lives. At those instances, separation does not seem worth it. If we initially hadn't, we why we did not like that person, or at least are surprised by our feelings.

The pain, the loss of separation touches the very core of our selves. It makes want to do anything that can help bridge it, even though it is not pragmatic, or beneficial in the long run. No matter how hard we try, separation is destined; only a matter of time. Separation is perhaps what ensures the next meeting is looked forward to, and perhaps even sweet.

Why our nature is so designed when separation is destined, is perhaps a subject that deserves further introspection. However, no matter what, a safe rule of thumb should be to make sure that one's behavior to others is always such that at the moment of separation, there are no regrets.

Dream Bus

Did anyone get, this dream like mine
I caught a bus, and it took flight

I skipped the tea, and missed my friends
I ran after it, the bus had went

This bus that took, all dreamers aboard
Such bus had not, could not follow time

This bus that had wheels, and yet took wings
Was a red double-decker, as on Bombay streets

The wind blew on your face, it was a bright summer day
This flight had known no limits, it was a dreamy ride

But this bus that I had missed, I saw it fly away
And take my friends to oblivion, as clear and white as day

I miss those friends already, I stand alone and moan
I know not what to answer, their parents back at home

A Tender Thread

Life is held, through tender threads
Firm and strong, fragile when wrong

Threads of love, holds relations together
Threads of soul, life as a whole

Balance of time, hangs on a second thread
Threads of stress, just waiting to snap

The sun rays shone, threads of glory
Threads of water, its unknown touch

A thread of thought, separates mean from grand
The vocal threads, cosmic creation's sound

A feeling afresh

A funny moment, to kiss and tell
A nudging joke, the smallest smile

She looks at you, and looks for you
A tender touch, just slight as such

If these be not, the signs of love
Then dear mine, you don't know of love

I mean to think, of something else
But thoughts fly to you, and nowhere else

Did you know, just what you lost
The spark that happened to burn me in hell

You smile at what, was a falling joke
If be not love, then what it be

In the end you look back, with a silent sigh
Perhaps was best, to end in sight

To be able to visit, a feeling afresh
Makes years of pain, nostalgic touch

No regret as, when love goes lost
As sand in waves of dragging years

The Way of Water

Little droplets, filing by

Filling courtyards with mud-brown puddles

They find their way, in and out of home

As if to stay, is never done

The way of water, is mysterious

It's flowing resembles, the way of life

The dust on leaves, now washed away

They look more green, fresh and young

Like a woman, who steps out from bath

Like a newborn, who comes out of womb

The way of water, is mysterious

It wetness marks, rejuvenation

The trees now sway, it is a storm

And furious rains, last out like arrows

The water now, it takes a different form

And man and mice, stay huddled in homes

The way of water, is mysterious

It ferociousness, can pierce through stone

The water has settled, as a flood

It now rots, what's in its grasp

And teaches lessons, as in every mode

To stay in one place, is as good as dead

The way of water, is mysterious

It's calmness can, lay mind at rest

Putrid Night

Putrid night, and a vented day
God knows when, I can stay away

Wakeful sleeps, and peace-less wakes
Is this worth, a monthly pay

I can write code, I can make calls
But how can one, sell with-out cause

My manager's way, is to make hell pay
Does no one know, the value lost?

Good Morning

The night grew pale, with impending dawn
The wind from east, was a warm feast
The flowers bloomed, homes woke up
The Earth bid welcome, to another day

In Retreat

An alone walked the one, who had survived the war
He wished as well, to be one with the dead
To be in company of lost friends, than with their memory live on

To walk over dead flesh, smell blood, hear pain
There is no greater curse, than walk out of a war
No bath will wash away, the sin of lives snatched
Not this lifetime, when you will sleep in peace again

He sat down to meditate, this warrior war-worn
Not to sleep was this life, only death would close his eyes
While fires with dead ablaze, the ones inside subsided
A fresh breeze blew again, while his breath slowed down
A mountain was this veteran, steadfast to his cause
Not question why he did this, just live and then be gone

80% is Enough

To leave your footprint in sand, you have to be unique, and arguably the best in one thing. And like most in this world, I seek that one thing for this life. At this point I tend to notoriously get philosophical, that I have lived more lives, and my search is but food the purpose of just the current life.

But in the midst of this search, as I stumble upon and evaluate all that there is in this world, this life, I'm amazed. Our life has as many dimensions, there are as many pursuits as there are species in this world. As I walk this journey, I feel the need to absorb, revel at all that I like, and not just a one. That would, in my opinion  make a balanced life. I hate to know people who are masters in one dimension, but hideously villainous in something else. 100% in one but 0% in something else important is not done.

The question becomes more pertinent to my life today as I think over the guidance I give my child as his father. What would I want for him? Would I be happy to learn that he is a genius at work but a horrible husband? Would I be willing to trade that. And the more I think over it, the more I am convinced that balance is the essence. 80% in all dimensions is just perfect really!

The thinking leads me also to appreciate the system of education in the US, where priority/credits are provided to every aspect. Versus the system if education I grew up under in India. I am not close to it, and the US system may have flaws, and the system in India, vastly changed. But the concept is what I speak of.

It would really be perfect if Shravan is 80% in studies, sport, art and debate. I believe that really is the recipe to be complete (100% if you will)  in health, character, intelligence and personality. Which really, is what will make him a happy, and indeed, successful man.

In Action

It's powerful strides the horse belies
But action is it's only course

To take it's master to bloodied warfield
Bloodshed was to live or die

The sword was sharpened, and hunger shone
In victims it, cut and tore

The shields lay stained, scratched and shamed
By spears and arrows, it couldn't shy

There was noise, this was war
Violence was, the bass of sound
Heartless roars, at the blood and gore
Or painful wails, fearing death

And in its midst, is where he rose
The horse would kick, his master's kill

There were no rules, only strategy
And the price of life, was that death ruled

Passion..or Madness

They say not want inflicts me

Some say passion, and some madness

I stay engrossed on one thing

It gives me complete joy

I do till tired, and still more

If that is what I did more

They say not who that did more

Some say passion, and some madness

I laugh when it laughs, I cry with it

And gives me joy, did say I

They say not why I laugh and cry

Some say passion, and some madness

I build this beauty with sweat and blood

I break it 'cos of one sore

They say when I build and break

Some say passion, and some madness

In Preparation..

In restless steps the night forsteps
A pilgrim is new age bound
A misfit even when the walk began

A full moon light, held him spellbound
Far away stars, brought a shine
Clouds were lit, with milky haze
A mix of blue, white and black

The misty grass washes his feet
The sea-beach sands wipe them dry
He sat down to meditate
The night vigil, had just begun

At a solemn moment when sea embraced
The rising sun, and crimson sky
He opened his eyes, the day begun
And picked his sword, gave out a cry...

The price you pay

You are cursed now
You have destructed

You will fall apart
You did not as instructed

Of what demons rise above
Of what devils possessed

Will crush the soul, set body aflame
Will torment the mind, your spirit ablaze

The Sun rises, to burn into ashes
The Waters, to drown in gasp

The Earth will scorch, on deserts dried
The air pungent, will suffocate

Nature you did, forget easy
Now the price you pay

And life on Earth, is a gift
This world, not inherited

A Child Reminds..

When he was born, I saw my reflection
When he cries out, I feel pain within

When he gets scared, in crowded malls
I remember that, existential angst
How insecure we feel, would we survive
A primitive fight, for what's so little

When he laughs out, I can see why
So funny it is, to innocent sight

When engrossed I realize, how he is right
Interesting indeed, I just did not notice

Oh a child, is a beautiful gift
A reminder of, the beauty around
A true medium, to relive our life

A Child at Play

I look at him, his eyes are busy
They lock one moment, then wander away
He is but, a child at play

He looks at one, and then at yonder
He smiles at him, and cries on other
The world for him, not studied yet
He is but, a child at play

If you follow, his gaze at green
Trees and grass, a bird abreeze
He looks at water, gurgles like it
You truly realize, what beauty is
But for him, just another thing
He is but, a child at play

A philosopher at times, but naughty too
A child is one, to learn from too
When he cherishes, and grab it too
But having possessed, throws away too

You can't but help, to think aloud
Isn't this what, I do in Life?

Once again we will meet

In the midst of bitter wars, as a soldier lying fatigued
My love your thought, gives the calmness I seek...

I think of our village, in the midst of mountain and wide sea
The fragrance of jasmine, ripe mangoes and fresh rain
And you my love, appear smiling and shying

I dream of our families, friends and those we know
The taste of mother's food, well-water and the jackfruit
And the memory of your kiss, parches my lips

Those days my dear, will come back again
They beckon to me, each time I wait for death

In moonlit lights once more, will we sneak from our homes
Meet at the river bank, kiss the full moon in water

Once again O beauty, we will hide in the fields
Roll over each other, kicking the grass beneath

On evenings in the beach, again we sit
Watching the sand, between fingers slip
While you see smitten, the evening sun set
I will admire you, your beautiful face turn golden

Mankind

There lived a fish, swam in faraway seas
He would come home, each year after year
He knew his way each time, in delightful ease

And for generations this fish lived
Passed on soul to soul
And for centuries sustained life
Purifying water to land

Then came man, the intelligent one
Giving whom a mind, even God regretted
His intelligence knew bounds, his greed did not
Quick pleasure than reason, felt more satisfying

Burnt down the forest, so he could stay warm
Forgot now naked, he was to scorched land
Ate every animal, his body was not meant to
When he could have lived, on one bunch of green

Such was human selfish, he had to fight his own
Killed his brother to save his son, should now he smile or moan
If only he had learnt early, his brain was for betterment
To live simple and rule the land, than to live for for self

A Child's Dance (At Six months)

Thai Thai Tha Tha Thai
So my child was dancing
Little feet and bubbly face
Figuring steps in rhythmic haste

He had be held, a baby yet
A baby in such a hurry
What brings you close, we love you most
Your father and your mother

What makes you happy, you see us yes
We really feel so blessed
Isn't life, a bundle of joy
Who says it's a struggle

Thai Thai Tha Tha Thai
Your footsteps make you happy
You gurgle, babble, you talk to us
In your own sweet tongue Shravan

In memory most, we cherish those
Moments that bring us close
You touch our heart, and well our eyes
In innocence, pure and soulful

Is there a way, God we can say
We can't thank you enough
With boundless joy, in blessing us
You created your image for us

Hinduism..the way of life..

Hinduism, the Hindu way of living, is nothing but the Indian way of living. Hinduism was the way of life of those who reside in Bharatam, in Hindu-sthan, now India.

The scope of this article is restricted to worship. The Hindu worshipped nature, similar to the Greek pagans, but deeper, more mystical, more powerful, and effective.
The five elements of life and earth were identified, worshipped, and even powerful chants of invocation were identified. But such chants can only be communicated by nature, or by a higher force, not learnt. Thus the belief that they were delivered as inspiration or intuition to the saints. These became the Vedas. The chants still have effect, but the trust with which they need to be chanted, the disciplines to be followed before and after the chant, have withered. And hence so the visible results of the chants.
The way of life itself had 4 pragmatic goals: Kama (pleasure), Artha (wealth), Dharma (duty), Moksha (salvation).
And life itself was grouped into 4 stages, called ashrams in veneration: Brahmacharya (where you learn), Gruhasta (where you are a householder), Vaanaprastha (where you impart wisdom and teach), Sanyaasa (where you renunciate).
These were just meant to be broad outlines. Hinduism was strict on only one aspect: Tolerance. Ironic, but yes. Each person was free to live up to his karma. Of course there was society and order to govern property and life. But not the restrictions, hypocritic narrow-mindedness, casteism, in Hinduism. But going into detail will be to divert from the scope of this article.

Hinduism went from being a way of life to a religion when polytheism and idol worship came into picture. But  it started with the intent, of channelizing the focus of the masses to the way of life that would broadly prescribe to the above goals and stages. So none of the Hindu gods were perfect. It was OK to have emotions, and make mistakes. And yet, to stay on one's broad goals, focused on the bigger picture as one might say. Sorry to say, but Hinduism never would prescribe showing the other cheek. Almost all the Hindu gods bore weapons. Satyagraha was the need of a different era, one that hasn't survived in general, because it is not natural. Harsh but true, the laws of nature are free to be observed in the animal kingdom. What separates us, are rules of engagement.

I suspect casteism was introduced by either the Kshatriyas to keep their heirs in power, or due to polytheism for the priests to stay most respected in society. It truly suppressed talent, and free expression, both tenets of Hinduism. I suspect the Kshatriya theory above more, mainly if you refer to the significant event in Hindu history, the Mahabharata. Mainly a power struggle between a king's children, for the throne. Yet, we don't hear of them praying to temples. Instead, they pray to the elements. You hear of heroes being sons of the God of Wind, Indra (god of heavens/sky), God of Fire, God of Sun, etc.

The mythologies of Shiva, Vishnu, Ganapati, even Rama, were created later..

Hindus still make up 14% of the world. But for Hinduism to attain it's lost glory and grow, it must be stressed to be a way of life. The true intent of polytheism be marketed viz. to beautify through bhajans and bring to focus the qualities to lead a good, complete life. Indeed, a person may not believe in idol worship and be a Hindu; he'd actually be a better Hindu if he instead invokes and prays to the elements in nature. And of course, casteism be abolished, as it has been today in India. Let merit, not reservations, determine achievement. The democratic meritocracy is indeed, the Hindu way...

And those who embrace this way of life, can choose to be deemed as Hindus. That is, "conversion" to Hinduism be allowed. It's just a term a title. If the person has embraced the Hindu way of life, he already is, has become, a Hindu.

The Wait

I waited across the street, alone and weary
The rain came pouring, but the mind was thirsty
Just one look, is all that I needed
Like just one shot, of a drug to last the night...

Gone are the days, O long gone are those days
How I have survived, without another look
Is it the rejection, the failure, the taunt
Or the memory, sweet pang, that lasted

I saw you walk away, many times not once, yet waited
Had to keep watching, till you walked out of sight
There was no hope, and I killed the semblance left off
As if to burn in hell-fire, ignited by myself...

Of what use is pain, why suffer a loss again
Can will power withhold, a pure heart's want
And innocence and happiness, get crushed in the rut
When the mind and destiny, conspire against us

Significance of the Gayathri Mantra

The Gayathri Mantra is considered the holiest and most potent of mantras. Because it venerates the life-giver and sustainer on Earth; the often taken for-granted Sun.

Below are translations of the Gayathri mantra at three levels

   - First one: When taken literally

   - Second one: When better understood, invocation of the Sun's energy

   - Third one:  Upon truly realizing, invocation of the Sun's powers to influence Life itself.

Dear Sun-God, your Light

It falls on the Sky, the Air, the Earth and the Water

Enlightening all the elements, the living and the non-living.

Dear Sun-God, your Energy (Shakti)

It comes into Us, our Minds, and Bodies

Gives Us a good Personality:

Self-Confidence, Self-Assurance, Will-Power and Guts

It comes into our Mind:

Gives us Concentration, Focus, Mental Stamina

Supreme Thinking, Memory, Learning, Grasp and Application

It comes into our Body:

Gives us Fitness, Energy, Stamina and Vigour

Dear Sun-God, your Power (Shiva)

It graces Us, our Minds, our Bodies and Reproductive systems
It leads us to Spiritual Progress and Good Karmas:

Gives Us a pure Character, peace and contentment

Lights up our Path

It graces our Mind: gives us the Right Attitude,

Empathy, Creativity and Innovation,

Lights up our Memory and Intelligence

It graces our Body:

Gives us good health, freedom from diseases

Graces our Reproductivity:

Gives us Reproductive capability and quality

"Us" above always refers to the true Self, our Self, what is typically referred to our Soul (which is rather confusing: calling our true identity by a different name)

Fantasy flight, with Ganesha! (Part 1)

I had gone to sleep, well almost. When Ganesha you woke me up. The curved trunk and reddish black eyes jolted me off my sleep. I screamed "Who", though I knew it's You.

You held me by hand, and took me on Mooshik. Never had I thought, I'd ride the animal I dread.
Oh I know you chose him as vahana to protect him. From us humans. So we realize the mice too serve a purpose in our food chain. To warn not to wipe them off civilization (that is, if we ever could!)

When in flight, the first thing I yet wanted to confirm is that many-opinioned fable, of the cause for broken tusk. Ganaraja just gave me another look, as if "what audacity!" and kept flight.

Where were we headed...

The Hero

I want to be no hero, I want to be just you
I want not to be known, just be one of all like you

There is no heroism, in putting life at risk
No really, said my hero, it's rather really foolish


It's society that props me, people like me and you
They want to see in me, that what they rather no be

So Hero is not what I want be, I rather just be me
A human just like any, with good and bad in me

Can you help me dear man, can you help this Hero
There is no pleasure greater, than living simple life

Hark, I said, no no, this cannot really be you
I worship you like God, you got to be a Hero

Shiva

Shiva Shankara
Oh all-giving generous
Pour on us the Ganga, with your matted-hair Ishwara

Rudra Trinetra
Destroyer of ahamkara
Root out all evil, with your trident Arihanta

Natesa Nataraja
Mesmerising your Tandava
Express life and death, with your dumroo Kalahasta

Nagadeva Neelakanta
Extolling fear and control
Purify us of poisons, with your sacrifice Mritunjaya

Karna

The fate of Karna, most unique
Discarded at Birth, discarded by Love
Had you learnt, you have lived to lose

The character of Karna, most ideal
Embraced fire in friend, than warmth in mother
Were you guided, by father the Sun

The excellence of Karna, most peerless
Surpassed Arjuna in Karma, Yudishthira in Dharma
If only dear Karna, you were on political Right

The destiny of Karna, most unfulfilled
Stolen by Krishna, Indra, Parashurama
In Life the greatness missed, in Memory will be served!

Der Hone Ke Baad

Raat tho thami, par der hone ke baad

Lafz tho ruke, par sheesha tootne ke baad

Ek Umr lag gayi samajhne ko

Ki Jeena jaane, par der hone ke baad

Haath tho thaama tha, muskurahat bhi chehki thi

Ki Insaniyat ubhar aayi thi, par der hone ke baad

Roshni ka tha intezaar, par suraj dekhna na gawara

Ki Raat hone par, kismat pe rona tha sawara

Ek ungli jo badaa detha, duniya thi haazir mutti thaamne

Par main hi na dekh paaya, ke mera waqt tha khadaa saamne

Haasil tho hua sab kuch, par der hone ke baad

Mother and Child

Child of Mine,

How did you know, just by my touch,

That I am yours, mother of yours

How come it happened, you quieted in hush

When in comfort, of only my hug

Or was it my surprise, that you were telling

That you are mine, baby of mine

If looking for miracles, just look at a birth

A life created, when there was none

Why is it, that you chose me

Why is it, that you smile at me

Why is it, your first word is Amma

Why is it, you first love me

Why is it, that I have your food

Why is it, my kiss always consoles

Why is it, I can put you to sleep

Are these questions, that answer themselves

Mother of mine, I always was you

First as a longing, waiting in you

Now as a child, belonging to you

Mother of mine, I am part of you

As moonlight ever, belongs to moon

Mother of mine, you chose me

You are this Bhumi, life-giver in nature

That Goddess on which, creation subsists

Mother of mine, I smile at you

You created me, and still are in awe

As if you choose, not to know your power

Mother of mine, my first word is you

Your name in veneration, is sacred of all

Purer than even, holy chant Om

Mother of mine, my first love is you

You chose to love, before you knew me

And know you will love me, whatever be

Mother of mine, you have my food

It is the prasad, only a God gives

Though you are the one, devoted to me

Mother of mine, your kiss always consoles

In that you tell me, all pain will go

And if you are there, I can bear all else

Mother of mine, you put me to sleep

Your heartbeat and voice, as when I was inside

Had taught me rhythm, brought me to life

Deep Sweet Meditation

In deep sweet meditation, the energy of prana

Only felt, in short unconscious breaths

The body steady, mind in peace

The world dancing by, but aham steady ease

In meditation realize, you were always one

Body can change, you are young and then aged

But eyes closed in depths, you still are the same

In touch do not be, to senses in body and mind

They all are external, to true self in life

Act in prayer, and let action be a prayer

Lose attachment to both, the action and the prayer

In deep sweet meditation, you see nothing yet all

You can watch yourself, from inside and the out

You can travel the universe, in distance and in time

And still come back to, your place behind the eye

In deep sweet meditation, you can feel what you want

Dive in cold water, or burn in blazing fire

Smell a fragrant flower, or touch a bird's nest

But still in end you come back, to sweet scent of self

One which no fragrance, yet as prana precious

Why did it Happen (Part 3)

"Perhaps it is I, who is holding him back". This is the first thought, that had taken them apart. And from that seed, a firm tree had now grown. Lakshmi was wise beyond her years. She knew a relationship needs both reason and emotion to nurture and grow. A relationship is built on neither independence, nor dependance. It has to be both ways, interdependant.

She had strength, wisdom and poise. Only her will, could weather this storm. Venkat was her first love, and love deeply she did. It had taken years, to come to these terms. But she would be selfish, to keep holding him back. And her purity in love, shone in the selfless fire of anguish.

To be true to self, she only had to look back. Through school and college, Venkat just did what she did. He had never made life-choices of his own. A whole life lay ahead. But just one lifetime, lay ahead. When he took his first job also as hers, she had known. A butterfly will not be born, till the cocoon is broken.

She had lived up to her dreams, happy, loved and successful. But he would know none, till life is done. That is, if they continued this way. She was sure as always, this was the right step. For no decision would she made, without due reflection. Venkat had said I'll marry you, but never I love you. Both were unsure, if he really knew love. This relationship was attachment, him dependant on her. And marriage an extension to that comfort zone.

Of the two, the sacrifice had been Lakshmi's. She'd thought it through, he'll struggle to accept it.  But then he'll move on, for he still hadn't known love, at least not yet. Perhaps he will, and for her. And also mature to realize, she had not meant goodbye...It was a risk, she stood to lose her love. But as any hopeless romantic sees it, his good was worth any cost..

A cold rain brought them back to senses. They both had been holding hands tight: but one in love, the other in plea. The grip loosened, as they walked back. But for the rain, they did not want to hurry back. For in the hearts they realized, this night is different. Tonight they slept, on separate beds.

The Gift

Get me moon, the child pointed

As a birthday, gift no less

Imagine my surprise, as I had too

And received a round, idly instead

Get me star, when child had cried

His mother rushed, to kitchen instead

Got him barfi, a star-shaped pretty

With a shiny, twinkling foil

Get me sun, when child would  insist

Give him laddu, is what I suggest

Make him open, that big round mouth

Stuff in laddu, golden and round

In the smallest things, the child finds mirth

Be it water, the light or dirt

Come play with me, parent of mine

For this was Life, he seems to remind

Why did it Happen (Part 2)

"Is there someone else" he blurted. She didn't reply. Never one to give in to hasty reactions.  He scanned her eyes, they too had no answer. They continued to walk..

Swaying trees conveyed the changing season. A misty wind, foretold the arrival of monsoon. It was time, perhaps time, to wash out all. Start with a clean yard, home, body and mind. "But can even floods, wash clean the heart??" another maddening pang. "I must be going insane" sighed Venkat.

Thoughts flew back in time, to high-school days. As adolescence bloomed, and innocence waned. He was her first love, but he, unsure. There was the thrill, of meeting in secret. The goosebumps, from the first touch. And then most special, that kiss one night as this. And the rest of it, that happened to follow..

Through school, college and first jobs, they had been together. In what's called live-in, they (seemed-to-have) comfortably settled. Abrupt and on-the-go, he had twice proposed to marry. Both times Lakshmi would always respond with a big smile, cuddle and a kiss, as if reassured. But never say yes. Though not as wise, he would surmise it only made sense. First time was the day he turned 21. The next time, the day he got his first job's offer letter. Both times perhaps, more a result of exultation, he reflected. But looking back now, he saw through why she never agreed. The intent to move on was there, but what was the reason...

Time had flown, they had survived. Bickering and quarrels, always ended in sorry. Lakshmi  ever, the calming, pragmatic influence. And Venkat, the blend of strength and sensitivity. Perhaps it was he, who needed her more..

That Look

That look of yours, I cannot forget

Playful oysters, with pearl-like tears

Eyes that could, hide an ocean in them

Eyes that would, convey anger and cheer

In another life, I may forget

But in this one not, that look of yours

Your pleasing smile, could not reach them

For they spoke the truth, that lips couldn't

And why we part, they knew as me

Though you would refuse, to reconcile

You then walked away, I thought it's done

But then you turned, and I saw it come

That piercing look, questioning why

A look that will haunt, till the day I die..

Why Did it Happen (Part 1)

For a minute he looked lost, deep in thought. His eyes were seeing, but he wasn't. One might say, he saw through her. And so perhaps, he was in shock.

Lakshmi had stopped by to tell Venkat she wants to move on. As if a harbinger of the hysteria that would be part of him for life, Venkat chuckled at her words. She stopped talking at once, and looked up at him. Few are the situations in life, when a response to laughter is fear. Once such was this, where words meant to hurt, get a reaction so unexpected. She needn't have been scared, she should've known him better. Or maybe this is why, they really weren't meant for each other..

The first thoughts that came soothing the numbness of the mind were in jest; and that's why his response. Thoughts remembering words, he'd told her many a time before "You know why we are together, our names should tell us why. We are a celestial pair, our marriage happened in the heaven". "But we are a celestial pair, But we are a celestial pair" the thought kept repeating, trying to tune of everything else. As if a stuck tape, or a child by-hearting. Was this a sign, of onsetting madness?

 Collecting himself together, he now saw the trepidation in her eyes. Venkat put her at ease, told her "Hey it's nothing, really I'm fine!" He had to get up, or she would notice his eyes welling up. "Oh come on, big boy! Get a hold of yourself" he coaxed himself inside. He walked towards the door, Lakshmi got up to follow suit. They stepped outside, to the moonlit night. They could hear the river water gurgling, yearning to meet her lover, the sea. On one such night as this, they had first kissed..

Respect Nature, or be done for..

In another world, where the stars don't shine

Would it be, as beautiful a night

On another land, without no soil

Would they, ever need feet

If there be no water, in another sea

Of what use be, the sense of touch

Our Earth is beautiful, we fail to see

Or would we pollute, the air and water

Green trees turning brown, and water black

Are we waiting, for mother's milk to turn sour

There was no man, when lived this nature

And none will be, if we defy her

O Mother of Ours, bless us all

Open our eyes, before the end comes near

Freedom?

Roam away, pleasant leaf
Now aloof, from mother tree
The ties, that you felt bondage,
Hark, protected but night-day

Cut-off, do not wither thou
Freedom sweet, for seldom few

Born to nature, in this world
You already are in Karma bound
Freedom, freedom, then what be freedom
Be where you are, it be state of mind

Our Leaders Short-Sighted

With deep respect, and a flag flying beside
Have I stepped in, chest bloated in pride
Where freedom fighters tread, their heads held high
They said with their lives, this is yours not mine

That India today, a nation in progress
Is still beseiged but, by the enemy within
Bigger than the enemy, anti-social and terrorist
Is that of corruption, and politics divisive

If our leaders today, use strategies of our captors
Who is to blame, for the lack of focus
Easy to blame us, as their voters first
But around that they created, an influenced ruckus

This Life..Miraculous Life

My son Shravan was born 4 months back. And with his birth, has yet again dawned the realization of how miraculous this universe, this Earth, Nature, and especially our Life is.


Small things about how Life portrays itself, through my son's actions and behaviors, have left me in awe. When he was born, he was was this bundle of chubby cheeks, dimpled chin, rosy lips, and sweet little hands and legs, popping out of mummy! Just that evening his position was not right (head-down), and I'd prayed to the miraculous Sun-God for a normal delivery. How did the baby hear..

Just as they say, he was crying like anything immediately after being born, when they were cleaning him up, and I, was smiling, happy as never before. As a lactation later said, if you'd ask him then, where he'd prefer to me, it would be back in the mother's cozy womb.

And just like the medical staff had told us, when he's consoled and placed on his mother, he instinctively knows his way to her breast, and to suck milk off it. Where there was none before..nature had nurtured a conceived-life into the cute baby boy inside Jyothi, so how it produced milk when that child came out, was in comparison the least surprising..

Shravan's hunger cues will always remain fond in our memories. The boxing-action and the side-to-side head-jerks, wow! I don't know if we've got it video-recorded, but doesn't matter, that's only for memories we could forget.. :-)

Time's flying by. I've always kept telling him, let time go slow, but he keeps making sure he grows fast. Each day brings us a new joy. He used to smile in sleep, and now he smiles in recognition. Both are most beautiful to watch. He's trying to converse, to his best possible ability right now at 3+ months, a baby talk which is a mix of cooing and babbling. But the best is when he communicates through body language. Each twitch, lip expression, eyebrow movements, leave us wondering who taught him all this! But still knows the best way to demand, is cry out loud! :)

Shravan still bundles his hands and legs into a small cute package, but also is active a lot other times; kicking and moving hands. He's turning over now, but is still scared to turn back after that. :-)He loves his massage. Bathing, on and off, but always loves the water on his body. To take a step back and think, the baby was in a water environment when inside his mother. With birth on Earth, came the ability to breathe.

He loves the same things in nature as we do: the greenery, the water, the light and wind. These, I'm sure, have lasted longer in his soul through past births, than the parents and others he sees now. Through him, I see what a gift Life is, and our time here. I see how powerfully we all are equipped, right from birth. And how nature gives birth to the parental instinct, when the child is conceived, and then born. How life gives the parent enough time to watch each step of the baby grow, while all the time nurturing the growing child with complex physical, physiological, emotional and mental powers.

It dawns on me, nature has a purpose for us. For each of us. She invests so much in us, has gifted us with so many qualities, and the most important of qualities, to instrospect and change! Makes me realize, that just as with any gift, life is a responsibility! To search for and fulfill our unique purpose in this lifetime, is what will give the soul peace.

Talent Blooming Late

And far out, a talent was blooming late
One that would become a force to reckon

He had kept searching a meaning to life
Kept saying to others, but forgot to listen
That this purpose forever had lay within

Something that I would do for free
Is writing, but yes, oh why indeed
And missing am I, in lack of this deed
Did my son just reveal, the secret is this

A passion to write, be it verse or word
Is God-given, and language, only a medium
True joy lies not, in hours of sleep
It lies in joy felt, at the hour of sleep

This Journey with my Child

My baby dear, my first born child
Is it really me, that created you
Or were you born, of that bright light
which created us, made all the rules

You are not me, but still a part of me
And of more value, than me the whole

To protect you, why this instinct in me
For are you not, just another soul

A journey I began, that you will start
Or is it just, a single thread
I will continue Life, just in your heart

A journey strange, is life and death
And how each being, came to evolve
All these instincts, this complex thought
Why are we living, purpose bereft

So baby dear, I welcome you back
For I must know, you were once here
I hope to help, your search as mine
Is achieved in full, with us hand in hand

Unfinished..

In the darkness of the night, while my wife and child sleep
I sit here brooding, thinking, instrospecting
Call it whatever your mind suits
In temples I'd been, and received great bliss
Generations of souls had venerated greats powers in these
But answers lie empty, my role unfulfilled
If a purpose, a path is shown, I would readily tread

Of what use an existence where there is no purpose
what is left behind, to remember me by
Fame and recognition is what I aspire
Footprints left in progress of time and life...

Krishna

Under the blue moonlit sky
Coloring the water and ambience in blue
My Krishna your temple bells
Are the very sounds of the environ around

Walking by the giggling river
Soft grass caressing my feet
When all one can think of is embracing one's love
Dear Krishna how did you live separated from Radha

A beautiful night, sweet breeze blowing by
Further cooling the sandal-paste on my forehead
And intoxicating fragrance of the Raat-rani flowers
Reminds me Krishna, what bliss would be like

I feel like laying down, where am I hurrying to
Breathe in the life, a gift I am born to
And then immersing it in, closing my eyes
Playful Krishna, I'll finally embrace you

Poetry of Youth

Why do I miss, the poetry of my youth
One look at a girl, my heart would miss a beat
The sight of a green leaf, would make me pleased
Fresh fruits felt tasty, so did reaching them on trees
Even crowd and dust, not disturb inner peace

I would run hard, feel tired, yet be at bliss
Water felt like nectar, or was it really nectar
The air had a fragrance, with no flowers around
Reading and writing felt ecstatic, as only simple pleasures can

No, it wasn't love, that caused the happiness I felt
I know the age was 24, when contentment met
I think I know the reason now, it has lay within
I feel I was in touch, with my very self and being

Lazy to Pursue?

Of late I have thought, where gone this love to write
To Put pen to paper, to look around and smile
The art is there, the ideas come
But lazy to sit, have I become?

My aims crystallize, my family flowers
As god-send the purpose, I was born at last
But still at distance, is the cause I crave
At least a family, I have as keepsake

Verses for the Day

From ashes rises a phoenix
I thought a lot of the meaning
And then realized that for true change
We must first destroy the old

No point in going fast
When the next light could well catch
Have an aim and goal
But know that life could fall short

I looked at the mirror, and keep looking at it
Sat down to write, but wondered why
There has to be, surely a deeper reason
Why I came, I looked, sat down to write


Rakshasa, dear Rakshasa, you exist within me
As Ravana, in Ramayana, you play your role with ease
I need be good, I need be evil, and evil you are in me
For only good, and only evil, will leave the world diseased


I understand this world, this nature, this existence
They why this self-doubt, this safekeep, this hold back
A purpose fulfilled, is what gives most peace
Not money, not progress, not relations we upkeep

A Single Life

To kick a stone, to crack a twig
Wherever went, fun of life alone
Simple pleasures, to read and write
Down to earth, but dreams abound

I climbed a tree, I ran afree
I swam a sea, I sped alike
A single life, needs know no fear
What is now called, lack of maturity

Why Free Market perhaps is the Right Way to be..for Health Care

There is currently the huge debate of health care embroiling America. And I've thought through of the battle of the ideal versus the practical. To put it briefly, the president's health care law aims at providing coverage for those without. But the main counter-argument to this is, but what if they cannot afford it? Now the government proposes, albeit obscurely, that innovative means would cover for that. All the while reasserting, that those with insurance currently will not see their premiums increasing. But popular, and pragmatic logic, says otherwise. Including the insurance providers who'll have to cover those newly added.

It is easy to be initially pained by the numbers. 15 percent of the country is uninsured. Many of them, children, the torch-bearers for the country's future. A government exists to look out for its citizens, and if some are unfortunate in wealth, then at least very basic needs of food, shelter, and health must be provided for by the government. If this implies, that part of this cost is borne by those more fortunate, then so be it. It'd be like applying a higher rate of tax for covering those uninsured.

But the counter-argument exists that such a cost cannot be afforded by the country. We have seen communism collapse in the past, as do we see socialist countries today in Europe. The law of free market is the law of nature: Survival of the fittest. If you try to kill the snake to protect the frog, the ecosystem would collapse. The only reason America is the most powerful and richest country of its time, is because it adheres to this law to the fullest. The system is there: public schools, infrastructure, lack of corruption, and a government that encourages entrepreneurship and innovation. If a person does not make use of these opportunities and falters in life, why should the hard-worker bear this person's expenses, including health insurance. And popular vote will resist it; only government will and leadership willing to flow against the tide can make this happen. And in a democracy where popular vote elects its government, the opposition is bound to come to power and overturn such a direction. If the government wants to avoid this, it takes up the cost, adjusting it by some means, which in the long run will be eyewash, as much of government revenue is taxes in income (individual or business). The other easy-way-out for the government is to push this cost to the private sector. But a private business exists for profit, and will certainly push costs to the end consumer by means of increase in premium for existing members. Which is what we are looking at right now.

Cruel though it is, perhaps life was never meant to be this way. And you just have to look at nature to know that as I said before. A government's primary responsibility is to ensure the country's survival. And if social committments come in the way, then a sacrifice to that respect has to take place. Basic needs could be food and shelter; health to be individual responsibility. Universal health coverage is not possible;dependants (children and hopefully seniors) can. Coverage to ensure immunization and hygiene (to avoid larger societal catastrophes due to epidemics), can.

All in all, the same rules apply to a country as to a business, in order to survive. Unless you innovate, you cannot survive. You have to let go of your weakest. Survival for the fittest, is indeed the undeniable law of nature, and as long as we live in nature, it will continue to reflect in our financial systems and social order.

Welcome Home (For my child written before he was born)

The sky is blue, a mesmerising blue
The grass is dark green, leaves light green
The water takes colour, of what falls on it
There is so much, I want to show you
In this Earth, that we are born to

Where you came from, I still can't answer
Where you will go, I cannot tell
But while here, I will show you
Of what God created, and what we know

There are huge mountains, there is brown earth
You can touch the dust, that created us
Walk on bare feet, as ancestors did
This mother patient, has borne us all

Given our food, provided shelter
Serving as bed, put her children to rest

There is the water, that immerses you in
Playful and cheery, with a gurgling grin
Can stick to you, yet not be held
You can consume, yet taste nothing

If there was nectar, water was it
I will bathe you, in its blessing and wealth

Then there is air, that you will breathe
Your first gulp defining, that you will live
And every deep breath, through heart and mind
Will throughout life, bring you a smile

And biggest of all, is the Sun God
Bright and golden, throughout the day
One look at it, and you will say
No matter what, I want to stay!

India Shining: 2 Things I Love and 2 Things that need to Change

A topic that seems to hold hope and relevance at the start of each decade. And why not, if these are visions from the unhibited dreams of a billion people in a free nation, albeit used to being part of a garrulous democracy.

Will our country truly be a superpower of this century (a shining India in the true sense of the term), that the world seems to be talking about and bracing for? Or will our biggest enemy, our very own internal conflicts, hold us back to the inevitable also-ran status? And that chain of thought makes me list the two things, in my opinion, that really need to change in India:

- Prevalence of Corruption: I'm sure this will be in the top 2 of all my blog buddies. I went back to the Transparency International Corruption Perception Index Ranking for India in the past 5 years. And no surprises, we all know this, a country currently in the top 10 in terms of GDP is 95th in terms of Transparency. Of what use is all the jingoism of patriotism and culture, when the core impulse seems to be to steal from our own brethren? The system may be partly to blame, for if there were no laws, the very nature of human behavior is to behave unpredictably, even wildly, causing chaos. So the fact that there is still room for corruption, is reflection of a systemic defect. But what surprised me, was that our ratings have been progressively been going down in the past 5 years. Perhaps reaching a tipping point last year when the 2G scam was exposed, leading to widespread public frustration and hence strong support for Anna Hazare's campaign. While we are still in the realm of numbers, we can perhaps also see in them the true reason why corruption exists i.e. per capita income. India ranks 127, and topped with the income inequality so evident in society, it is justification enough for even the most principled, that the greater good or in other words responsibility to family, overrides all. Well, our PPP does not have to be so bad just because of population, or China wouldn't be ranked 90, or the third populous USA be ranked 7! The cause for the income inequality as well as the low PPP is, guess what, corruption at the high-strata of society (in terms of power and income), an endless cycle perhaps? And wherein those in higher-strata of power are also responsible for the laws of the land, we see the direct connection wherein the intermingling of temptation and greed directly causes the laying out of half-hearted and weak foundations to check corruption. Lots been said of the amounts that have flown into tax havens instead of being invested in our nation. Yes, a nation getting more aware can vote to power the right candidates, so education and awareness are the groundwork. But all in all, a democracy still elects a set of individuals to represent us. And (easier said that done) unless there is a change of heart in at least most citizens, especially those in the high-strata of power, we will never get rid of corruption. If Anna Hazare's Lokpal can bear weight on the 80-20 rule, we may well check the major portion of it, and that would be progress itself.

- Lack of Unity: Despite all their shortcomings, the biggest contributions of Emperor Qin Shi (who ruled China from 221 to 210BC) and of former US President Abraham Lincoln, was to make their countries united. Of course there were falls and failures even after, but these men weaved a thread of unity so firm yet flexible, that it never has broken. And today, in the name of religion, our country lacks that unifying factor. A century ago, the iron hand and diplomatic shrewdness of the British rule kept our wounds unhealed, yet not let them fester. The struggle of Independance seemed to unify us, but we know how that curtailed volcano exploded in the bloodbath during partition. After independance, the caste and class structures, religion and sub-religious differences, state-wise cultural differences, all came out to the open and have continued to keep us apart. But the biggest threat to us right now, sadly, is religious differences. This was not so prevalent until the 70s when we were isolated from the world, perhaps owing to fear of the unknown and the 3 wars post-independance. But with a slow embrace of the world came a growing awareness amongst the populace, something that was exploited by the high-power strata of society in the form of religious extremism. The strategy of the British to narrow down populations was reused to create loyal vote-banks, but what the politicians could not foresee is that even a spark of fanaticism could now easily create a forest fire among such tight-knit groups held together by fear of the other. Operation Blue Star, militancy in Kashmir, Babri Masjid, Godhra all were results of these. And how these internal conflicts can prove dangerous for the nation was proved in all the most daring terrorist activities that happened within the country, be it the 93 blasts or the 11/26 shootouts. Obviously aided by our very citizens, and something totally unheard and unexpected of before. Again (easier said that done) unless reservations are rooted out from the heart, and practice (not teaching/celebration) of every religion given equal respect but made an individual/private activity, our uniquely multi-religious country will continue to have differences. For the cause of God is the best sales-pitch ever, has and will go beyond every reason and emotion! If history repeats itself, then we can go back in time to see what preceded before Qin Shi and Abraham Lincoln could achieve unity: Civil War!


In a way I'm happy the train of thoughts led me to the negative sides first, so that the second half turns out happier. For I now I have to write on two things I love about India. Wow, there are so many:

Food: Indian cuisine makes the best uses of the spices provided by nature and generates flavor and taste of such great variety, customized and perfected by different parts of the country, like nowhere else in the world.

Arts and Artistry: Be it music, dance, painting, carving, physical or even dresses and medicines, centuries of rigorous discipline, documenting, practice, and fine-tuning has made Indian practices impeccable and inimitable in the rest of the world. To name just a few: Yoga, Ayurveda, Music and Poetry (Carnatic, Hindustani, Devotional, folk), Dance (Bharatnatyam, Kathak, and myriad religious, regional and folk forms!) would arguably beat any other form in their category that the rest of the world has to offer. What we lost in Engineering supremacy was due to centuries under imperial and then foreign rule, where science and architecture was recognized as a tool to sustain supremacy and showcase dominance respectively. And what we continue to lose in music and dance, is plainly due to lack of marketing...

Weather: Do I need to say more. The best all-season natural weather that you can get in the world! Yes, we are losing this too, to pollution. It reflects the lack of systemic will to protect, and scientific advances to truly curb.

But I think the intent of the article is to bring out those things I love, which truly stand out in in the context of a shining Indian. And those two things would be

- Social Values: I would claim our culture and society to be, in its original form, truly very tolerant and flexible. The intermingling of religious celebrations as a society itself shows that! Even the caste system in its original form was based on meritocracy. But those in the higher-strata wanted to stay entrenched, and made your role in society be based on birth. But that is getting better, thanks to the merits of our Constitution's basic tenets. Indians through ages have imbibed respect and responsibility towards others, living and non-living, as part of our nature. Respect to elders, helping our neighbours, feeding the stranger, giving in charity, friendship with all, social celebrations, peace and love, have always been part of Indian culture. I have never seen such true social regard of your identity anywhere else. I mean, how am I your neighbour, if I'm not there when you need me, or even when you have something to share! Our true customs believed in the equality of all roles a human plays, irrespective of gender and task. While across the world, the woman tries to "be a man", in Indian she rejoices being revered as a symbol of Mother India. Don't get me wrong, lack of say in economy and social practices like dowry does endanger their very existence, but this is more due to manipulating social roles by greed and systemic defects in the law of the land. But I foresee that as technology reduces barriers to communicate, and awareness and education increases, more avenues will open up for the Indian women to showcase and express her skills.


- Spiritual Lessons: The jostling of religions for relevance in our country has had one benefit-the spread and knowledge of spirituality. Way back since when Hinduism was not a ritualistic religion, but just simply, a way of life, spirituality has been one of the prime goals of life. I've spoken about this in my previous blogs also. Spiritual lessons, modes of observance and practice were seen as non-conflicting to the other needs of human life, except ofcourse, behaving humanely itself! Even one look at Lord Krishna's life-whose rendition of Bhagavad Gita is interpreted and re-interpreted to meet orthodox ends-is enough to know that all is ok in human life, even killing is at times necessary, if only the intent is right. Go back to the context of when the Bhagavad Gita was recited, and you will know well. The most creative people in society are also the ones with the most gray shades. Why: Because else they are not human! Stop restricting and inhibiting yourself, be brave, express and act. But don't do it for a wrong intent. For the Law of Karma, as Krishna elaborated in detail in the Gita, is really the guiding principle of all creation. A lesson so profound, can only come from the deepest contemplations and realizations of the nature of creation, and we have the fortune to have been taught this in our culture! Go back again to the time of the Gita, there is no mention of idol worship. There is no mention of a religion named Hinduism. And there is no description of ritualistic practices. And yet, all were Hindus, by their way of life. So too in our country are all Hindus, not the religion, but the way of life. Spirituality was and always meant to be, indeed, an individual quest. And I feel proud our heritage taught me that!

Ethical Consumerism

The topic came up in the context that blog-buddy Swati's post-grad institute is asking students to research on building identity through Corporate Social Responsibility. And so it was chosen as our blog-group's topic of the month, and thought-provoking that it is, Good Choice I thought! :O)

Coming straight to the point...The reason a business runs is for profit. So the reason why it would pick on any non-core theme would be (in order of priority)profit enhancement (even if through cost reduction), competitive edge and government regulations.
Some sustainability and environmental benefits themes fall right into the safety net of all the three above. But "more ethical" does not. And I'd hence argue that just for that end, a business cannot be ethical in a market economy. So before going any further, one has to first accept that these themes of Corporate Social Responsibility became so only because it was justified either on the balance sheet or consumer demand, if the law of the land did not already mandate it.

Doing it is one thing, but there is no point advertising it, or making an identity/brand of it, if the end customer is not looking for it. So it is time now to first understand what the consumer's priorities are. At the end of the day, everyone lives on an income. Cost has to be managed. But where cost is almost equal among competing products or manageable (low in proportion to income) other factors do come to play including, and firstly, Quality. So for a consumer, be it an individual or an entity, cost will be the first priority followed by quality and then other factors. Now depending upon the kind of product/service on sale, these "other" factors can have considerable influence, and it is in this space that high-end competition tries to show differentiators. Note, I stress here that only consumers who fall within middle-class and upwards will be even influenced by factors other than cost and quality, in most scenarios not being able to afford looking beyond cost. I must also add here that I am not mixing quality with safety, and even when the middle-class consumer buys something for its low cost, he will check for the minimal safety-levels, even if defined by "others use it too". Going back to "other" factors beyond cost and quality, these factors that influence choice could vary from banal economics like it a one-time expense (durable goods) so lets keep cost aside, to the emotional like religious influence (kosher/halal for example) so cost is not what matters most, and so on including factors like ethical and green benefits. The point I'm conveying here is that in thought-process of the "responsible" consumer, Corporate Social Responsibility can at best lie at Level 3 (top among other factors), if not lower.

So the message to the Corporation seeking to build its brand, is that while the theme may include Corporate Social Responsibility, it should first have laid the brand-recall foundation in the consumer's mind on cost and quality. If the product is not regarded by the consumer as cost-competitive and of acceptable quality, trying to sell Corporate Social Responsibility is fruitless. And actually, marketers should take pains to send the message that embracing the Corporate Social Responsibility theme would not come at the cost of alienating cost and quality.

Having known its place, Corporate Social Responsibility indeed can act as a crucial differentiator, for it shows an organization's humanity and commitment to be well-regarded. In the IT space, companies like Infosys caught on early to this theme, and admirably, devotes 1% of its margins to the Infosys Foundation devoted to the social cause. Themes chosen include (not exhaustive) education, social upliftment, and environment, and it does make a difference in winning favor (even business), where all else is equal. As both shareholders, partners, and clients, even if not individually involved in it, like to be known as associated with companies chanting the Social Responsibility mantra (bask in their glory!). In the pharmaceutical industry too, where clients are most-times the end-consumer,  this can make a big positive difference. For example, the ingredients in the medicine being from non-meat or vegetarian alternatives. Or effluents are safely disposed. Manufacturing processes are efficient. As a consumer, it would make a difference to me, provided (and you can complete this sentence by now) cost and quality at least are not sacrificed!!