Why do we live life

I sometimes feel we should cut the crap out of this rat-race of career. Go back into the question of why are you doing this. Do not do it for your next promotion. This body, this life-history is not what matters. Do it for a real sense of bigger purpose. Let that purpose be to make life better for someone. Let the means be your work.

If you are rooted in who you are, what life is, what is really under your control and not, you stop getting too worried and worked up in office. In effect, you behave better with your colleagues, and give better output in work. You are more in control of the situation in this context, than any else.

Why do we live life? What's more important for us? What gives us most satisfaction, a blissful feeling? To me, it's family. My writing, my poetry. My meditation, physical exercises. Temples and the poignancy in their sandal, flower and fire scented air. Nature, greenery. The sun.

At work, I've felt so when a code I'd written executed successfully. I got this feeling when I score 96/100 in Mech in Sem 2, and recently when I scored 740 in GMAT. A sense of satisfaction of a job well done. I feel a drive to set a process straight, be it at home or work, and I strive towards it. I really like it when it completes well. It's not really a blissful feeling, as it is the second level feeling of satisfaction. I like it, but can live without it.

I see a lot of reasoning in the 4 ashrams of life. I think there will be a Vanaprastham for me, after Grahasthashram, which will again be secondary to Sanyas ashram. And to be clear, these ashrams reside more in the mind than the physical self. Although the physical seclusion would be ideal.

Life flies by. I was the same person when I was 15. I might have learnt, worked, formed family. But I am the same. And I think this applies for all humans. Matter is, if they realize it or not.

One realizes that shortcuts, negative manipulations, and actually even positive Karmas matter little because you keep getting pulled into a cycle. More importantly, negative karmas keep pulling you farther and farther away from realizing the truth, that's all. But someday, somehow, in some life, this Self will suffer through it. If one just realizes this, people would just put effort towards a goal, but with no attachment to it.

The result will and has to come. And even if it doesn't and when it does, it does not belong to you. You were always just the medium. Your purpose is bigger. It is that of the Soul, it is that of Life.

The Mode of Awareness

I recently heard an interesting talk by Sri Sri Ravisankar on Karma and Reincarnation. He spoke about how "awareness" can dissolve all Karma. It was thought-provoking...

The gist of his message was that if "you" (the Self) are observing yourself, your actions, your Karma, then you realize what's happening, what could happen, and you stay detached. The very act of being detached to your current Karma will ensure you don't earn future reactions to it, in effect "dissolving" it, and freeing you from the Karmic cycle. Easier said than done, of course?

But I tried it. Of course one should have firstly reached the level of spirituality to realize that this body is temporary, but there is a self within it, which has stayed unchanged, since childhood. The mind, the emotional maturity, the physical nature and features, always keeps changing, even if not always visible. But the Self stands apart, experiences, and carries impressions like Guruji put it. These impressions are the Karma that earn its effects.

So if we "position" oneself in the Self first, and watch what are doing and experiencing (and we are doing something every second, even if just watching what we are doing), then the first immediate benefit I experienced was relaxation. I felt the stress floating away. In an instant I realized this was just like the feeling of meditation. Indeed, this is what we do during meditation isn't it, separate "self" and observe. We just let the thoughts come and let go without any physical activity during meditation. So we are relaxed and are definitely not earning any Karma. The thoughts are good or bad, but it's in the mind. The self is detached.

The next benefit I realized, I guess which is a product of calming down and getting free from stress, is we prioritize things right than just rush.

Our physical movement is slower, but not really slow. The right word is graceful.
Our general  demeanor is to look at the surroundings with awe. The greenery, the small antics of a child, the humor in small things, the goodness of beings. It's as if the soul has opened its eyes and is finding everything new and beautiful.

This Mode of Awareness is also resembles the mode of creativity. When I'm writing this article, or a poem, I'm just letting the words flow by. My mind is processing it, but after the fact. The idea keeps on getting generated from the consciousness or beyond, and the mind's just shaping it instantly. Poetry, especially, flows most freely in this mode of creativity. Words are rhyming, phrases rhythmic. In this mode, I'm just sitting still, and communicating what's coming from within. That's how creativity arises anyways. We see it in music, in painting. And I think one is a subset of the other. Awareness precedes the mode of creativity.

And because we are in the mode of creativity, in general any work done is of good quality. Even when work needs analysis say, we switch to the analytical mode, but because we were in the more relaxed mode of creativity before this, we are less tired, less stressed, more relaxed.

The last, but the not the least, thing I noted was that it was not possible to stay always in this mode. At some point you get engrossed in what you are doing, and obviously the Karmic clock starts ticking without us realizing. I'm sure the gurus always stay in this Mode of Awareness. The realized beings always free of Karma although always in the mode of service and activity. This is perhaps where practice will lead us..