If you throw a tomato from here, it will quelch

That's what he said, and looked at me straight. It was a threat. I'd known him long, and that didn't matter. He was most back-patting friendly when the occasion arose. And perhaps that's why I admired him. The way he was true to the moment.

He walked with a limp, but the physical limitation didn't seem to bother him. The way he said it would make any listener believe he could do it if he wanted to.

"And I'm not threatening you" he said, as if reading my thoughts, "This is to introspect on how to live life, as a ball or a tomato?" he added.

"Well that's not impossible too, reading thoughts, if only I can suspend breath a little bit". he said ironically assuring. My expression must be giving me away..Wow, who needs to read thoughts if you can read body language, I thought.

"Agree" he said. This guy knows me just too well. He knows my thought process, why'd he need to read my thoughts.

Isn't this the very reason I chose him as Guru (or was it the other way round). The very blessing I got this life. A Guru who knows and guides. Someone I could submit humbly to, to advise, and to guide.

Free the moment

It is not the end, the walk in the woods
Every cycle we trapped in, leads us back home

Every thing I learnt, was already known to Me
Each moment here, a gift of breath

I was here before, and will be here again
To remember or realize this, is true freedom

A birth now, and the way it is, a blessing
This moment a moment to strive, and grow beyond

Health is only the means to the end..

This is in continuation of my earlier article in this blog. That article attempted to assert that the goal of exercises is health, and not fitness (link).

My current article puts for the claim that even "Health", must be seen for what it is. We are not given health to protect it per se. So if you are healthy and think I should stay in a germ-free room to retain it that way, you are missing the point. You are losing out on living life, which truly, is the purpose of health.

Parents, with the protective mindset over their children, try to keep them from dirtying in the mud, or at extremes, from contact with other kids even if with runny noses. Guess what, while some might know that the physical level itself you are stifling this child's immunity. Most still do not realize that they are stealing the small pleasures from this child's life.

One has true understanding of life that health is best sustained by nature, and everything in it. The hint is from the very fact that the act of living itself sustains on a fine balance. If you don't take that next breath inside, your physical life ends. Health is given for the very purpose that you go outdoors and experience life, and contribute to it. That is in itself its best sustenance.

So to those who spend half their days counting calories, exercising, grooming, cleaning, my suggestion is, discretion. Your body is a temple keep it clean, but not to the extreme that you squeeze a sanitizer each time you pass from one room to the other. Watch what you eat, but stop counting calories. Do give in to some cravings sometimes. If you want to forego something first, start with meat!

Your goals should not be around losing weight or walking more steps this year. They will automatically happen, to optimal levels, if your goals are set higher, truly towards fulfilling the purpose of life.

Share, practice charity, serve others, make goals around ideals like these. Practices adopted around those will provide more satisfaction leading to better health. When you serve the needy, you automatically value what and how much you eat; you realize how much more of a privileged life you lead, and get more contentment.

At higher levels of maturity, when you see life for what it is, a repeating cycle, long if not endless, somewhat like the Truman Show, you will take a step back. And realize the need for higher spiritual goals.Health of the physical body (at least the sheath sustained by food) stops mattering at that point. And it takes on newer mental, spiritual meanings, and even definition!

Rainfall

Every rainfall, is witness to this
I miss, I really miss you Miss

You might think, this is nutcase case
I say it's really, my nuts and bolts

I walk behind you, I stutter standing beside
I don't know why, my heart leaps and flies

This sweet pain is something, I can feel upto lips
Will you ever, share with me, a kiss?

Why morning tea/coffee?

It's a tradition, or maybe a part of culture. But every morning, people all around the world, wake up to have a cup of tea or coffee. And funnily, just after they have brushed their teeth. And why so, only to get back some teeth stain?

Those who've researched it, know the reason. It is, at the end of the day, an addiction, because of the caffeine in it.  And many of those who've researched this even still continue to consume it. While there is freedom to choose, true freedom comes with reducing dependence correct?

I can understand someone feeling sleepy post lunch, and going for a cuppa to ensure his attention stays rapt in the subsequent meetings. But why mornings when you are supposed to have woken up fresh? Ironically, most consider this to be the exact reason why we consume tea/coffee in the mornings; to feel fresh! Well then, you have a problem at hand. Either you are not sleeping well, or not long enough. Fix that!

It's common experience that a hot cup of morning tea helps loosen the bowels, which as a practice is ideal from a health perspective. But I can assure you, the same effect can be delivered by both hot water, or even lukewarm water. It is only mental conditioning to credit a diuretic (that is, something that ironically causes your body to actually lose water) for it.

So, Think Again, and Revisit.

The magic of third gear

Some time back, I wrote about the joy of discovering the intricacies on driving with car's second gear (link). How it saved me from ceaseless gear-shifting when speeds go below 20kmph.

And now I'll say with more time behind the wheel, I've begun appreciating also the third gear!
I say the third gear is the ideal for optimal driving speed in India. The third gear too lets one start from a low speed of around 25kmph. And at least I've not seen it complaining unless the speed closes on 50kmph! Of course, the ideal range could be 30-40kmph.

On a typical drive, while I can stay at second gear on speed-breakers, I can smoothly shift to third gear when I'm around 25-30kmph. And kind of stick to this gear in city traffic. There, that's it! Between gear 2 and 3 much of my driving gets done.

I know vehicles cut you, and are trying to gain, one car at a time. Little do they realize that there are traffic lights on city roads. It's just not possible to get that far away. So why do it!
And then there are the dreaded motor-cyclists. Somebody please tell them their life is their own responsibility. They just choose to whizz past! If not for them, at least the hassle of ramming into on o them I choose not to have.

The important thing about driving in second and third gear, is to take half a clutch up, and then slowly release. Unless this is mastered, the car always throws tantrums just after gear change!

The thid gear speed also gives sufficient time to look around. If not at nature, then at address searches. As long as you are in the third grear, you can comfortably read the sign-boards and shop names, while the vehicle behdind still does not have reason to honk!

Obvious Errors

In a sea of passion, floats a world of wonder
And we are but one in many
I know not why, we think it all right
To commit all sins unforgiven

I know the rules, I feel the path
The conscience tells me so
Yet I do what others, will cheer me to
Because our world was captured by us so

To tell the truth, and do what's right
Has become a conflicting thing to
To bend the rules, and take it easy
Is what it has now come to!

Narasimham series Part 3: The Dawn of Realization

Part 2 | He could realize what is happening, but needed a witness. It took him some time, to even accept. His body was being traded, by another soul. And the other soul, happens to be Narashimha himself!

The Lord was protecting him, from those out to hunt him. He had a purpose, so the Lord would not let him perish. So whenever challenges insurmountable, were making their presence felt, he was being taken over, by a soul more adept.

But this sharing of the medium - the body that he now couldn't call his own - was coming at a price. Obviously he had no memory, of when his body was being possessed. But also he was losing his power of speech. He body felt stronger, though the human heart was beating harder. And even though it was dusk, his eyesight was sharp, but how? Somehow his physical characteristics, were being mixed up with a lion's. The realization startled him, and he rushed to the flowing river. No, he looked the same. Big relief!

But there was another thing that worried him, his overall memory itself... | Part 4

Devi

Devi graceful, who light-step treads
Into hearts and minds, of devotees
Pours nectar and peace, into restless beings
Makes true purpose shine, as crystal cleaned

Devi divine, all powers who manifests
Lord Shiva himself, whom Parashakti reflects
She represents my every, living breath
She is my very, action expressed

This Devi I bow to, I invoke her blessings
I pray she watches, my thoughts and feelings
She protects me I know, I hold tightly my mother
May she lend me the vision, I follow her path forever

I am the witness

Of late I have thought,
What good of me, but provide
What be of me, without this life
Family, job, and the daily grind

I then read that, I am not this
I am what witnesses it
What I should do is step behind
And watch if I am doing right

Am not the doer, oh not at all
But will be victim, as I direct him
If I quieten, the mind's chatter
In daily run too, will there be peace

For the year ahead

A year has ended, has arisen a new one
With hope and wonder, I look forward to this one

Lazy have I been, bound by routine
What I need really, is a desire to win

There is lots to do, and demands from many
To keep my priorities, will be the priced win

Memories of Twin Lake Towers

The beautiful apartment community Twin Lake Towers that we were once a part of had a beautiful lake, at the centre of which they have a fountain always turned on, even lit up at night. Huge green-grass ground, and baseball nets, and a pretty park. They have a small pond in the midst of the ground too, which also has a fountain and a bridge-walkway. Gives a romantic setting like watching it in a movie.

We moved here early May 2010 and lived here until 2011 Autumn sometime, and loved it for the most part. Utility bills have gone down, which is the biggest plus for me. Parents are happy that the entry-exit to the building is much more secure than Brook Hill.

We lived in both the one-bedroom and two-bedroom units of this apartment. With each we only saw distinct advantages. The only issue with the apartment itself was the geese-poop all around the trackway.

This is where we saw the World Cup Finals with friends, and had the best Indian restaurants in Westmont around the vicinity. I started going to King Car Wash and began visiting Whole Foods for organic foods on 63rd street (the apartment was on 59th street). Till date, Siam Thai was the best Thai place, which was very close, and so too Saffron Indian restaurant and the Chat place with the same name.

Upen Bhanu left for India in mid-2011 while we were here. Jyothi got pregnant. Shanthi stayed with us for some time. It was a wonderful time, in a wonderful place. It was nice.

Find the Sage Inside

When you have that compassionate smile
When you feel the pain inside
Rest assured, that he is in
Find that benevolent sage inside

When less than more is what you seek
When austerity gives you peace
Search him, for he is near
Find that content sage inside

When you do, without a gain in need
Result good or bad, you are still at ease
You are him, just realize
Find that enlightened sage inside

Narasimham series Part 2: Peace in Action

Part 1 | Compassion is common, when you have left community, ironically. He felt the oneness, the pain, of those writhing around him. His sense of calmness fast disappearing. Couldn't make up his mind, which way to go first. Some were counting, their very last breaths. Can he then, even help!

That's when he sensed,  a movement behind. He turned around  saw someone, and just then it happened. Again a blissful, lasting Samadhi. He had entered Nirvikalpa. Was it ages or a timeless moment, he couldn't tell. But when he woke up, he smelt blood.

His robes now blood red, and a shocking sight ahead. Two people bearing knives, their hearts torn out! | Part 3

Teri Yaad Mein

तुम थे तभी , तुम्हे पा ना सका
तुम्हे खो चूका, फिर क्यों ये सज़ा

ए ज़िन्दगी ऐसा क्या किया
मुझे तू ज़रा बक्श ना सका

याद में तेरी, जि रो रहा
पर  मैंने कभी ना गिला है किया

Early Morning

It was a tempting morning sun
The question was will I wake up
To the crimson clouded sky
A beauty rare to ever sight

But nah I had a late night
And a weary sleepy eye
It would be another morning
So I say to my own chagrin

Scientific Cricket Team Selection

I wonder sometimes why selectors cast aside the law of averages when selecting the team. Attitude issues and knocks under pressure (ala Azharuddin) might be the differentiator perhaps. But how much of a difference if the law of eliminations and the rigorous grinding through various leagues, from local onwards, wouldn't have taken care of these.

I feel 90% of the national team of any cricket nation would benefit from simply keeping spots open if the player doesn't make the cut after playing international competition from other nations.

I have a simple criteria when I look at Averages, Batsmen being the simplest.

One Day Internationals (ODI): Average above 40 and Strike Rate 75+
Test Matches: Average above 50 and Strike Rate 40+

That's it!

I mean, selectors make a big fuss of it, emotions (especially popularity) and lobbying playing a significant role.
And by averages above, I mean career averages. A poor run or bad form may be lived with, but if it falls below above threshold, then replace. Give the player some time off, or let him come back to form after some domestic seasons. Don't let massive egos affect team standing in the international arena.

One could ask what is the criteria to allow their debut in the international arena: Well you want to catch them young, but still after some experience. So say in one senior domestic season (played without injuries or skipping else he's not fit enough) if they play per above, give them a chance if some spots are open!

You'd also ask how long do we sustain with the person after debut, in the international arena. Again same answer, one season. And of course, he's always on the spot with sticking to those averages.

You may also question a Sachin Tendulkar with a heavy legacy might continue forever without his average falling below the threshold, even if they are in the worst form. I say that's correct, and they've earned that respect. Players of that class will not give you cause to regret, if the day they feel they are done, they'll hang their boots.

I also know that given by above criteria, a lot of greats might not have had such long careers. But then, my argument would be, their burden must have suppressed the rise of potentially greater players. That's the very thing I'm alluding to when I say selectors base their decisions on "emotional" factors than scientific.

Bowlers are the key to winning matches, although every form of the game thrives by making punching bags of them.

So selection of bowlers needs more thought. This is the criteria I came up with:

ODI: Economy Less than 4 OR (Strike rate less than 40 and Average less than 30). This is only if the bowler consistently bowls ten overs in an innings.

Tests: A bowler's not proved himself until he's taken 7 wickets in an innings and 10 wickets in a different match against a different opponent and a different country. Thereafter, he keeps his spot by keeping his Strike Rate less than 70 and Average less than 30.

For debuting and retaining the player, the same criteria as for batsmen (one year in domestic and international).

I hope this, or better thought through, but scientific methods become the norm in selection process to give more transparency to the game, and better value for money for the spectator.

Narasimham series Part 1: Woke up from slumber, Woke up to disaster

He woke up from slumber, a deep sleep he had entered. When he'd intended to just sit and meditate. But when he opened his eyes, all he saw around him was death and destruction. The tree he had sat under was in ashes, people groaning, eyeing him..was that a look seeking help or mercy.

He did not get it. He was just this bearded, ochre-robed young sadhu. A sanyasi who'd lost interest in the mundane rat-race and fallen in love with the eternal joy, pure bliss he felt within. He'd seen through the mist and risen above it.

But one look at his hands, and even he shuddered. Drenched in blood were they, and so too his feet. There was smoke and fire around, but still the calm within. What happened, what just happened here... | Part 2

Nidhi

Your body such beautiful treasure
Your name would right be Nidhi

Our union solemned altar fire
Seven stepped, garland blessed

I have loved you cushy tender
And miss those warm tight hugs

I not know if this dream or real
I do not see you now
I not know if this past or future
I do not see you now

The Youngest and the Oldest are the Closest to God

...And the younger ones, closer than the older ones. The innocence of the young reminds us of what a blissful, wishful life one could have. With no responsibilities, and be as you feel like. Express love and anger in full earnest. Cry out loud, and laugh away merrily so. The merriness in their ways is what makes them appealing to one and all.

Youth is wasted on the young, is a sane saying. For as we grow from childhood, and start "learning" to be "civilized" is when we lose touch of our true selves. Society shapes us to be what they want us to be, not what we want us to be. But the maturity to join laughter clubs comes late! That is, to laugh at oneself, to take it easy a little. To strike balance in life, and not be dogmatic about, well, really anything.

Glittery are the toothless smiles, of young and old alike.

Can we really imbibe this attitude. Can we be at peace with ourselves and the world around. Then only, verily, will toothy smiles be just as joyful to laugh along with!

Connect the Dots...

I'd once heard this remarkable speech by Steve Jobs whose basic intent was that we cannot really Connect the Dots looking forward, or know really how what we learn or experience currently will be of value in the future. We will only be able to do so looking backward, and so trust that all that experience today will make sense sometime in the future. He talks about how unplanned calligraphy classes later made their way into the first Macintosh computer. That was the first time I learnt of the philosophical side of Steve Jobs...

And it's not something we don't hear about also. Be it from religious texts or sermons or from elders when we are going through a bad phase, that it will all fall in place. Or all that happens, happens for the best. I learnt about my friend Niketan who'd unexpectedly returned from the US after quitting his job, had flown back. He and I know that it was indeed good he was here at this crucial time in India. Was it by design, Yes; but his design, No. But there is for sure someone or better put, an intelligent force above, which seems to have control over this. Across even the time and space limitations.

Albeit we get a few instances in this life to experience and trust this, we really might not find it justified or proven when we look at other peoples lives. Some people we think are suffering more than they ought too, and some people living a most privileged life without deserving it, or so we think. What we, and the people in context need to realize, that it's all been and will be accounted for. Across births. And it's not that we live an indulgent life and just take it away with a shot in the head like Hitler, and think we'll get away with it. The soul has always been the silent witness. And it'll go through the effects of our wilful actions for sure.

Putting that context to our lives, don't really think, even at the end of the life, that I didn't get my due, or I got an unfair part of it. Just lead a good life, till the very end. Like Jagadguru says, the summary of all of Adi Sankaracharya's teachings is: Do Dharmic activities; Do not do Adharmic activities.
Just repeat to yourself when you feel low: It's all been Accounted for!

And they just sat and talked

While time was running, and the days and nights flying
It seemed stood still, from where we watched the sky

And I saw through it, and ran off from which
But they, my dear friends, they just stayed and talked

And days went to months, and months into years
But whenever I passed by, they just sat and talked

I don't know if and when, they got up from those seats
If they knew that they had aged, that this life a privilege

I never asked them that, I never judged on that
For when I had to see them, I at least knew where to find them!

Why news"paper" still..

Whenever I step out early mornings, am surprised to note that news"papers" (the hard-copy) are still in circulation. We went to a friend's home who'd moved to Bangalore recently, and I noted they were signing up for not one, but multiple newspaper subscriptions. It got me thinking...

Maybe because newspapers in the US weaker on content (at least the reasonably priced ones) having an ads-to-news ratio of 10:1, and with news again largely focused on domestic sports leagues, I easily got rid of the habit of subscribing to newspaper hard-copies with a span of months there. When in India earlier (and this was the pre-smartphone era) I couldn't do without a daily dose of "The Hindu" and "The Economic Times". But in the US, WiFi was ubiquitous and I slowly started adapting to opening up news websites to read. And over time, with the advent of smartphones, to the newspaper apps, and now to news aggregator apps So the key I think is: Adapt!

Now back in India I see WiFi is equally fast and reliable, and news aggregator apps are aplenty the world over. The "Google News" App I relied on in US, is equally good here. In the sense, with sourcing content from local news and newspaper editions. It was surprising! India's come a long way in adapting to the digital era in the past decade.

So now it's time for mine and the generation after to think of weaning ourselves away from newspapers. I haven't done any research, but common-sense says that big bundle of "Times of India" which is half-filled with sleaze and gossip, and the rest mainly in ads and then content, comes with an environmental cost to manufacturing it. A cost higher that if you'd have opened up their website or their app, or added them as a preferred content provider in the Google News (or any other aggregator) app.

The cycle of supply-and-demand still subsidizes the annual news"paper" subscription cost, so we don't feel the pinch in continuing to subscribe. And this in turn keeps the vicious printing cycle going.  I know some who have "Think before your print" under their email signature but don't think much about subscribing to newspapers. Reasons varying from habit to eye-strain to the smell of the newspaper to well, nostalgia.

It's time to put an end to this. For it is only we, the readers, can put an end to it. And when the solution is only more convenient that the alternative, why not!

I can understand the generation before ours will find it harder to adapt.

But for the rest of us, my slogan is: Cmon, logon!

What is my Dharma

This is a call to all those, who like me, living in today's world, have lots to do but less time for it. It's a call for especially workalcoholics. People who think since they have to provide for family, or some who think work's what they do best or enjoy most. Pause. Ask yourself the question: "What is my Dharma (duty) at this moment?"

This simple question, when asked at any moment of perplexity, has managed to open by eyes. Give me insight as to what's the best action at that moment. You must firstly, of course, know what are the things you are responsible for. As a human given this birth, you are responsible for this temple you possess, your body. Then your mind, and every aspect of it (emotions, intellect, memory) and some things there that you need to control (ego, desire, greed, envy). You then have the duty towards your parents, your teachers (need not be all your school teachers, but those who your heart says imparted you something lasting; and including those who through experiences in life have taught you). Then you have the duty towards the spouse, the child, and the various fora of society you participate in (the place you live in say the society, the city/state/country i.e. social service), and to your occupation (your job or business that earns you a living to support your family) and your talents (hobbies or interests). Well, that's a lot, and I'm not expert, I might have missed something. But really, that doesn't matter. It's up to each individual's karma. For him to assume responsibility or not.

And from this sense of responsibility, flows various other actions in life. Optimum is the key. I can exercise the whole day, but it will be at a cost, of not giving my due to the other responsibilities I shoulder. Once this priority is set, it's also easier to manage time. Hygiene, optimal health (what's really needed to maintain it, including optimum diet and exercise), time and care for family and well-wishers, and dedication to work. And realize that automatically with this priority, many other things may fall at the bottom, with lesser time spent (wasted?) on them.

As we get better, we begin to make better decisions at a moment's notice. For example, as we all do, when we get a phone call. Whether to pick it up or not. What should I be doing now. Does my family need me at this moment. Have I given them my due, or is it the most relevant time now to give them time. Or haven't I done justice to work yet, and will plan to make up for this.

Also, we make more prudent decisions. Along with the priority, I'm talking about the ethical nature of it. Am I lying (tainting my soul and hurting someone else for personal benefit), or am I hurting the environment with this. Not every decision can be perfect, but let's do our best.

The most important thing is to dedicate every action to God. To lose attachment to any outcome. To thus award oneself forever bliss of existing (just being), and the process (with an attitude of devotion and inner peace, no matter what).

Wear your helmets

It is a very simple matter. A seemingly most obvious thing. But yet we see ourselves and those around not implementing it. The easy part of wearing the helmet when driving or ferrying someone on a two wheeler.

I'm not sure why it takes legislation. It's a striking matter that following this requires enforcement. I'm sure there must be even some pressure / lobbying against further policying on this. Which is why even in metros like Bangalore I see the driver putting on his helmet (because the traffic cops do a good job) but never bothering about the passenger they pillion.

This is not a question of driving skills. No, I'm not questioning skill, care while driving or experience. It's the simple fact that an accident is just that, an accident, a happening. And there is an equal if not higher chance of it happening due to external factors beyond your control. It might be purely the other driver's fault. Or bad roads or natural causes like poor visibility or rainy weather. But who loses, in the absence of the helmet!

It's a different matter that in my opinion Indian driving standards and traffic congestion are not even the place for two wheelers. But this is the bare minimum a two wheeler driver should ensure before he/she takes himself and someone along for a ride.

It was a heartening sight recently though to see a mother who was taking her kid along (who was standing in the front space of the scooty)making sure the kid had small helmet on. I've seen them going thus multiple times now.

I feel admiration but ask myself why. Isn't it that obvious!

The Goal of Exercise is Health, not Fitness

I see a lot of people putting a lot of effort into fitness. Body-building, running, ab exercises, those in effect to stay in shape. But these people forget the very reason why exercise is prescribed. A recent article of a youngster who collapsed running a half-marathon pressed me to write this today.

The Goal of Exercise is to stay healthy. At the very basic level, this is the fact. Staying in shape, or being lean or having muscles, are not really the goal; rather a distraction. If they happen, let them, but really, it doesn't matter.

At the next level, we'll get to introspect that even health is not an aim or end in itself. It's just the means to an end, and even the healthiest person, can die in a road accident! But let's delve into that later..

Ever since man walked out of the forest, his primary strength is his intelligence. Although he can, he's never required to build muscle. It really plays little role towards the goal of life. Of course, if your Dharma as  a soldier and sportsperson warrants these attributes, you need to do it as duty. But where your prescribed Dharma has turned out to be some other task, there rather focus on that task than the exercise itself.

More often than not, effort and time spent in exercise steals time away from your Dharma. It injures you, as any bodily regimen is bound to, and where you cannot maintain regular effort, it steals that "shape" with double the vigor. Instead, if you realize that the goal of exercise is to keep you healthy and not fit, then you will automatically look for exercises to maintain body flexible, breath calm, and mind at peace; rather than focusing on muscle toning or stamina building.

Meditation, Pranayama and Hatha-Yoga in that order are all the threefold "exercise" you need. And most importantly, they aid rather than come in the way of our daily Dharma. This they do by the added benefit of promoting inner health and  keeping you stress-free, sharper and more flexible/balanced.

Baby Kangaroo and Big Giraffe - 1

Once there was a Baby Kangaroo, one who walked past a Big Giraffe. Each had their unique gifts, different from most nature. The admiration was but mutual, and only difference was their age.

So this Kangaroo was a child, curious with lots of questions. And the Giraffe was wise, his mature stature even exceeded his height.

So this Kangaroo asked Giraffe: Why are fish so small, when they eat what we do.
The Giraffe smile and replied: Because they eat small as their size, you what you can hop on to, and I the way big trees!!

And the Kangaroo said: Just one more question.
For the Giraffe was about to sleep.
Kangaroo: How do I know what time of day
Giraffe: When Sun rises it's morning, when it's up high noon, and when it's setting it's evening. When no sun it is night! It's just that baby Kanga, we adults make it complex!!

Austerity

Woke up bathed in the sun, the time had past 9
Where was I in sleep, was it Sringeri or in bliss

There were many people I met, some family some friends
Do not know but that one, whom I befriended at once

He was tied up by the customs, some embraced and some thrust
I know not if he knew that, this was to be this life

In the rigor path that austere, what is gained and what lost
One learns much but still, remains innocent and untouched

The gains and loss are after, this life was just be shed
In Service and Sacrifice, giving away He earned most

The Hungry Soul

Ever looked at that common man on the street, the one in tattered shirt he wears everyday. Non-chalant of dusty winds and beside a swanky building. Not deep in thought, for he has to survive. Just waiting on the street before his next step.
Yes, that's where you are more likely to find him, on the street. He represents the majority of this nation. And he lives on or close to the street..

He was most likely born there, on or close to the street. His parents loved Him, and perhaps found Him as one of the few reasons to love their life. But they were forced to put Him to work to make ends meet. That is, to ensure He gets fed and clothed. Though regretful, they could not afford to send him to school. They did though, for a few years till the time he turned around 10. And then they needed him to work, as they aged early and got weaker sooner due to a life of hard labour. He had to start supporting family by the time he was 10..

Life on the street makes one hard. It's not easy to stand below the scorching Indian sun the whole day and not lose patience. You come to get cynical to the bone. Humanity comes later, the hungry stomach first. He learnt to steal, curse, defend himself, then beat up others. Smoking and drinking led him to a few of life's pleasures, times that could make him forget, to de-stress. Or else he'd have turned into a suicidal psychopath. He was not at the bedside during the last moments of his father's life. He just could not bear to hear anymore the coarse, dry cough his father suffered from. He'd walked away while his father coughed to death. There was nothing he could have done anyway..

Believe it or not, fear of the Indian policeman straightened him. Little credit comes by the way of the common hawaldar, about whose state we chuckle when we see him walking with his baton (flattering name to what should just be called a long stick). He was beaten up black and blue the first time he was caught. Then he kept getting recognized by the hawaldar posted at the street. He'd get beaten up or scowled at, sometimes for no apparent reason. The only escape was to avoid the hawaldar's sight, which was less likely. Or to just stop his vices, and get his face wiped out of the over-stressed hawaldar's memory. In the adolescent years, the latter path was easier..

As He grew stronger, his self-esteem picked up. No, the cars on the street or the celebrities on posters hadn't really disturbed his mind much in life. It was only around when he had to stop school that the feeling of self-pity had inflicted him. A feeling that was quickly solidified to stone by the stroke of heat quickly followed by the embers of a cold moon. The people in the cars, and even buses, were looked at by him, as an ant views humans...
But the cause of self-esteem was that he could work, and also earn a full-day's labour rate. He resumed some of his vices like smoking or drinking with buddies, but the fear and scars of beatings by the police evoked enough fear of punishment in him, to not go to illegal means. He earned the respect of elders he shared some of his earnings with, either when they were unwell, or even if by buying them a bidi. And thus he was made to marry (and support) another bonded labourer, a woman...

Life began to come full circle. While the pleasures of married life and sense of purpose starts melting you at first, the reality of supporting common needs begins to hit hard. It is at this point, that some of those in whom even though the fear of punishment is fixated, begin to find illegal means justifiable. He wants to be worthwhile, give his family some comforts. Even getting beaten or killed sometimes feels worth it, if just for a few days he could afford his family a good meal, small luxuries that he never got, nor would care for. But for his wife and child, can't he even get them this much...
Of course for such people, these pleasures are short-lived. They die a quick death, a knife or gun-shot wound. Or a slower one in jail, when they keep hearing of the hardships the loved ones undergo in the outside world.

And for those of weaker will (or strong enough to live in this guilt, depending upon how you look at it), they continue with harder and more labour to be able to support family. Breaking their back working round-the-clock, and yet feed a measly meal to the ever-crying, ever-falling-sick child.

The rest you know, you've read it above..

As we welcome the new year, do first reflect, before you resolve what to prioritize.
When you celebrate the India of culture, the India of hospitality, do stop to pause. And look at this man on the street.
When you celebrate India the land of democracy, tolerance, spirituality, do spare a moment for this man too. And try to look into his hungry soul...

To Learn to Unlearn

It took one life time, to teach myself
That I am this, not someone else
I am not one, watching from out
I am this, and this is my life

And now when I read, I'd quitened wrong voice
The inner was once, and always right
That I am not this, that I am that
Witness to all, and not the Doer at all

Vairagya..

He talks on phone, she listens to music
They keep doing things, they need not be

The musk lies within, yet the deer keeps searching
What need for outside, when inner world is reaping

I pray to Narayana, I pray to the Lotus
It all does not matter, for all are just me

When fire burns to ashes, where does the body go
When thought and sound leave, with whom do they merge

The universe outside, lies also within me
This knowledge is enough, let happenings just be

Vehicle Dress Codes

For some reason, I always relate a man in formals, even wearing a tie (but not a suit), as the perfect dress code for a motorcycle rider. Somehow it always matches, in my mind...don't know why..

But it put me to thought, about other vehicles, and how my mind perceives them. I realized indeed, the mind has a lot of fixations on many vehicles.
That man in suit, who's not on the motorcycle, has to be sitting in the back of a sedan, which has leather seats!
The gearless scooter goes best with riden by women, or college-going guys in track shorts or pants..

Why oh why has the mind formed these biases, and in how many other topics has it done so, God knows!

One might think that it's simply experience, what the mind has seen the most of, it perceives as correct. Kind of how marketing sells us stuff via advertisements. But ponder this: My mind sees the man in motorcycle will equally suit well in the Hero Ranger kind of big tyred cycles? Why? Maybe because it's almost a half-sized motorcycle?

Hatchbacks have to be driven best by short-sleeved guys in t-shirt!! Now, how do I go to work?? :-O

Verses for the day..

जब डॉक्टर ने आइस-क्रीम खाने पर रोक डाला
मानो मरने का आसान तरीका खोल दिया

The greater the diligence, the faster the delivery
OR
The more you are careful, the faster you deliver

Also..

The calmer you are, the faster you drive
The deeper the rest, the more dynamic the activity

A blank mind merged with nothingness
Can see all, transcending time and space

Thoughts on Yahoo-RnD leaving..

Like many an IT guy, I'm sure sure it did not augur well to learn that Yahoo was moving its RnD division back to the US, and laying off the rest of the techies in India (of course, management tugs strings enough to be itself transported to the US)...hope they at least had the common sense to move the sharp techies also to the US, than live to regret it years later..

But this move kind of came as a surprising news. It kind of reverberated GE's steps towards moving manufacturing back to the US, as the automation achieved and cost of logistics brought more business sense into manufacturing within the US itself.

But how does moving Yahoo's RnD to US really make sense. There were some details in the news clipping like a change in working style to keeping fewer locations fore more collaboration (It was consistent to Marissa Mayer stopping work from home with a similar logic). But what about brains? And the cost? And c'mon, in this era of globalization and virtualization, what are we, moving back in time Yahoo??

The trusting child..

Its a sight that never fails to break a smile on my face. A child seated on the arms of its parent (typically mother within the Infosys campus). And the child exploring us people around, or the happenings around. Never a fuss, never a scare, just complete trust. The child doesn't look to check on whose arms it is, or whether it is safe there. For that's all he/she wants to be.

And from that perch, look out to the world. It's a beautiful feeling, difficult to express in words. Just even for the onlooker to see this beautiful bond of trust..

I hope the parent feels it, and feels proud of this feeling. I feel this a lot when Shravan's in my arms. He's happy to be picked up, and then he's singing his songs..

May this trust in a child, may this innocent view of the world never be spoilt. May we never destroy this experience for a child. May we just watch, with him, and like him, the world around, in all it's beautiful glory.

We are but visitors here, for a few years at a time, let's bask in this amazing magic of nature and life around, and let it breathe through us..

The Rude Shock of Slope..

Just the day after I had written the "Magic of Second Gear" post, where I was thanking the stars for not having got me stuck on a slope yet, as if arranged by karmic forces, the very next day I got caught in the exact same situation!

I go up full speed in first gear on parking lot slopes because I did not want a recurrence of the scenario where the security guy had to drive up the car to help me out. And on this fateful day, I'm going full speed and screech just behind another car stuck on the parking lot slope (with a loud "Oh Shit" exclamation to boot!).

Full credit to the guy in front, when he had his turn, he calmly got his car up the slope, even though there was but only a whisker of space between our cars. And as if this was truly a play of nature, while I sat shuddering what to do next, and kept looking behind for other cars on the slope, there strangely was no car coming up. For if I'd seen another one coming, I'd have panicked even more. This breather really helped. No car in front or back. I slowly put the hand-brake exercise to practise, and lo and behold! The car went smoothly up!

Imagine my amazement, relief and surprise. But the incident left its mark for sure. I was shivering even after parking my car in the lot...

Poems for Shravan: Bath Time

Bath Time, Bath Time,
It is Bath Time for Shravan
Shravan is a Good Boy
Shravan is a Good Boy
Shravan is a Very Very Very Good Boy

The Magic of Second Gear

Back in India recently with wife and kid, the need inevitably arose to have a car. And since I was paranoid about driving on the roads here, I opted for at least a familiar vehicle style i.e. auto-gear car. But then this was mostly for my wife's commute, and the need invariably arose for me to use a car to office. That's when my father passed over his car in Mumbai which was lying unused..but this was a manual gear...

And while both I and my wife had started lessons months ago, we'd resigned to being unable to actually drive in a manual gear car, especially after getting comfortable with the auto-gear. We'd even left the lessons incomplete. And so when Daddy's Maruti Swift arrived, the first thing I did was to systematically resume my lessons. While in parallel to start driving the Swift to nearby open spaces to practice. But the shift from gear to gear at different speeds, in my opinion, was needless. Necessary though in developing countries dependant on oil imports, owing to the fuel-mileage savings (apparently aroun 5km difference per litre!).

And so I kept struggling. Especially after one experience where I got stuck on the road and a parking lot slope the same day. One of the security staff had to then drive the vehicle up..really shuddered my confidence a bit. But continuing the lessons in parallel really helped. And Prakash, my driving instructor, is one patient and wonderful teacher. I could ask him areas I was getting stuck and he kept helping me out with tips and practice.

And the biggest of them were these two:

1) If I keep half-clutch on second-gear, no matter how slow the vehicle gets, it won't stop. You can't imagine what a boon this tip is on huge speed-breakers or heavy but not-stopping traffic situations. Obviously, if it's stop-and-go, or whenever vehicle stops, one does have to go to first-gear.

2) If you are stuck on a steep slope, lift the hand brake up, without fixing it. Your car will at-least stop moving back when you lift your leg off the brake now. And then press the accelerator and slowly lower the hand-brake. The car just moves forward! If anything, slight pressure-release on the first gear is only needed. I've had to use this a couple of times now, even today, and has been very helpful (thankfully not in a steep slope traffic block situation yet).

The two tips above have been big contributors for me gaining confidence back in my driving!

The third confirmation / tip was from my sister that we can confidently keep ourselves in first gear and push the car up slopes. I'm still not sure why this works, even when we are going at higher speed up the slope. This doubt came to mind especially after the time I got stuck in the slope.

Well, that's lessons revision for now..hope most major ones are done now.

Picking up trash, but with flowers in hair

No sight of grace touched me more. When they say no job is below anybody's dignity, I saw it within trash-cleaners in our apartment. They value their job, and it doesn't make them feel small. So hygienic, they'd worn neat modest sarees, foreheads showing they'd been to the temple. I couln't be more inspired. I bow to them.

And we learn that life gives as one has sowed. I hope then they get bountiful good in return later...

In life we speak of intent and action. Krishna said right intent of following Dharma is more important, whatever is the vocation you seek.

But does correct intent justify misbehavior or violence to others. Does intent rule over action. I think not. I think the "correct"ness of the intent itself is relative. We might think we are defending our liberty of expression when telling all. But a national security matter might be at stake. This is where document-leaking journalists at times go wrong.
Rather, if intent is to do one's Dharma of reporting, without the intent to hurt, you'd stop when authorities and other journalists explain the repercussions.

Now does action rule over intent. I think that's a clear no. For example, a cruel policeman might be saving a woman from a rapist, but actually beating him to death to quench his blood-lust. So that doesn't count. If the same were being done with the intent being to hurt the rapist, in anger of having hurt the woman, it's different. But the highest is the attitude of just doing his job, not as a robot, but out of true compassion. That like a true soldier!

The lessons life teaches, it teaches in trickles...

To Reconcile various paths..

This journey, this quest of knowledge to understand life itself is very satisfying. And interestingly, even though various sects have been holding on to their stances, I see various commonalities. Actually, I'd like to think that actually there is no difference between the various sects in Sanatana Dharma. Or as claimed by a former Sringeri Jagadguru, even amongst religions. Since Sanatana Dharma rests on eternal laws (dharmas) as speaking the truth, right conduct, faith in God and as such, there is no religion that can claim to be teaching anything different. The only point of contrast could be in Sanatana Dharma using the Vedas as the source of truth - the eternal laws' vakya. Well then, to reconcile, firstly all religions will agree that various scriptures, even after the Vedas in Sanatana Dharma have been written to either delve in detail, or explain the laws in layman terms. Including in modern Hindu religion, where the Bhagavad Gita is now considered its most holy book.

Now within Sanatana Dharma, or now Hinduism, there is the Advaita (Self is God) Philosophy, then there is the Monotheist (One Supreme God) philosophy, and then there is the Polytheist (Many Gods with various functions) philosophy. On the face of it, these are three different sets of belief. But if we listen to the Vedas, or the Bhagavad Gita, all three are true. Devotion, or spiritual journey, cannot start without an object of devotion. An idol, a guru, a set of beliefs. Even the Vedas are taught after the student first affirms he has faith in it and his guru. So Devotion is the most important requirement. It is the truth for people in this phase of the spiritual journey, and there is no arguing this.

And thus, people will choose an object of devotion, a God, whose attributes they feel closest to. Again, here the devotion is most important. And second that the God chosen by the devotee adheres to the basic values: truth, correct attitude and intent, peace, love. If in the name of this God the devotee obtains justification to resort to violence, the devotee has definitely been misguided and misdirected away from the spiritual path.

Taking this further, a devotee might love multiple Gods for their distinct attributes. These Gods are but symbols of our creation. Or they are exemplary individuals from our past. We seek inspiration from these heroes (whether mythological or real) to be able to become like them. To strive and attain their qualities which align with the Sanatana Dharma laws.

As the spiritual journey progresses, the individual begins seeing all others as equal. No one is above the others. It starts with realizing all humans are God's creation. Then that all living beings are God's creation. Then that the whole world, animate and inanimate is God's creation. And slowly that good (or God) resides even in the most evil of people. Then the spirit of inquiry of what governs the results of good and bad behavior, and the understanding of the Law of Karma.

Eventually, at a great and deep state of maturity, the realization enters that God is beyond good and bad. And this not just the saying, like I'm doing now. But the intrinsic realization, the ability of seeing this truth from within the mind's eyes. And that God is the very source of this existence, and hence cannot be claimed to be of just human form. He is without attributes, and takes the attributes of the object reflecting it (the stone, the dog or the human). The energy, consciousness and matter combination only varies. From this point, the scriptures (actually, only the Vedas at this point) help to understand, that everything is really energy (just like the atoms were found to take up the nature of matter and wave at different times).

So really, this is an individual journey. He may or may not follow the above sequence of steps to reach the final realization. But when realizes, he definitely understands it for what it is. It really does not benefit a community or people following a set of beliefs then to fight over who's correct. The teachings are best served when individually followed!

Sun the destroyer, Sun the creator

The Sun rose over the vast green fields
It grew in size, from crimson to bright

Its body was fire, yet light serene
The very heat, cremating blood of streams

So when there was Adharma, and Dharma to restore
Destruction happened, through nature or man

Yet this very Sun, this heat and light
Rejuvenated all, and Life reshaped

Thoughts on Yugas and Vasanas

In Sanatana Dharma, you see all this mention of the Four Yugas, and how we are in the Kalki Yuga. I shared an article on Google Plus yesterday on a coincidental reflection of why these Yugas are not really periods in time, as much as in Dimension. And I saw this being elaborated in the article I shared.

I've read books and heard talks of how there are angels who guide us. Perhaps departed well-wishing souls. Perhaps forms of Energy which are symbolized in idols. Where do these angels live in. If we have a concept of time in our world, there must be a similar concept in theirs. The souls we see departing from human life go to a state of rest. There must be a concept of time after which they come back. And for simplicity sake, there must be a concept of space to where they rest. Perhaps that's where the four Yugas exist as Satya, Treta, Dwapara and Kalki. Based on their Karmas in human life, the Vasanas that get built them, take them to the corresponding Yuga (dimension).

And then all that's mentioned in multiple articles makes sense. The lives in each Yuga ranging from blissful (Satya Yuga) to incrementally less peaceful in each...makes the heaven-hell concept in Christianity easier to understand too.

The article I shared had a wonderful insight into this, as aspect I had not thought of. The Four Yugas could be a reflection of stages of self-realization. We, in this Life itself are in Kalki to Satya based on our level of Self-Realization. Or, as Swami Vivekananda had once analogized, when our soul expands beyond a stage (yuga), we are unable to stay within the cage of the human body. And we depart this body, while entering the next stage. But it's quite clear in multiple expositions, that "life" continues. "Life" based on our human wordly perception is what ceases, and too perhaps just temporarily. So maybe there's a threshold of Yuga we can achieve while staying in human life, after which the next stage involves leaving this body. I'm not sure what this threshold is; could be the Dwapara, or who knows, the Satya Yuga itself!

Kalki to Satya might play out after departure from human life too, reflecting the fluidity of life-force itself. And that's where the concept of Vasanas can help explain..

When the Gita says intent, not the action itself, is supreme; or when sages have said the last thought before departure from human life plays a part. What they are all alluding to is the "impressions" or Vasanas like Sri Sri Ravi Sankar straight away explained it as. I saw it specified in another article how the subtle body behind the physical form is on which these impressions or vasanas are getting recorded. It was also an interesting mention that both good and bad karmas cause the vasanas, and there cannot be a balance of either good or bad, for us to stop the cycle of rebirth. To "dissolve" these Karmas, is why Ravi Sankar advises doing every action in the mode of awareness. That in itself separates the seer from the doer. Or the Jagadguru's teachings advise - in a more easier form to understand for the layman - to dedicate every action to God.

This is perhaps how the intelligent force behind creation does not carry any bad Karmas even after natural calamities. Or even when wars happened and lives were lost in his incarnations. These weren't happening because of his intent. He is just playing the medium for Karmic results to play out..

A strange universe we will in, which exists within this soul and where we are part of every galaxy. Where time and space are no restriction. Which is how Sadhus and realized souls easily look into us and tell us things from our past and future..of a Satya Yuga full of bliss from where can come back to human life only when we choose to, or else we live there forever (concept of Heaven)..Amazing! If only we "Realize"!!

Devi as Mother

With cries and good looks, he came to this world
I ran to his aid, but my loyalty with you

You had brought him to this world, little does he realize
More than him I feel indebted, you are the Devi herself

There are traits that are childish, but the spirit has a spark
You are the Mother beloved, tireless and devoted

No matter where you go, your heart, stays in whom you Love
No matter where you are your energy, blesses and guides us

Poems for Shravan: Bath Time

Bath Time, Bath Time
It is Bath Time for Shravan
Shravan is a Good Boy, Shravan is a Good Boy
Shravan is a Very Very Very Good Boy!

Death not sleep, but awakening

It was that morning sunlight
That woke me up from slumber
Not money, not fame
Not Yoga nor scripture

It was just nature, fresh breath of air
That blew me off this world

While all men said I'd gone to sleep
Only few knew that I had woken up

When you meditate...

When you meditate...do not try hard. The intent is to relax, so whatever you do, don't end up being more exerted at the end of the session, than before!

Both Swami Vivekananda and Sri Sri Ravi Sankar encourage letting the thoughts flow. Vivekananda compared it to a stone causing ripples in the water. Let a stone come and disturb the water, it'll just ripple away. Ravi Sankar asks us to just be "aware" of the flow of thoughts. And I believe Sadhguru suggests we watch the breath. Ravi Sankar also suggests breath as a way to control our emotions. He explained how breath is the link between emotion and mind. Remarkable! And so true!

When meditating or in prayer, do visit and your "angels". Yes, that's the term so many religions term it as. In Hinduism the religion, deities could have been introduced to serve that concept. There are angels for creation (Brahma) and learning (Saraswathi), angels for protection (Vishnu) and prosperity (Lakshmi), and angels for power (Shakthi) and renunciation towards moksha (Shiva). Visit their abodes, thank them for standing by you, through various births that you have taken. So have been so lucky to be born in this human life, which is conscious of self and consciousness of choice. Thank them, thank them all!

When meditating, realize that your true self is joyous. Realize that you are different from this body. And, over time, realize even that you are different from this mind. Which is why almost all of us do not remember our previous births. Only the impressions have carried forward, and only those whose impressions have been that strong, remember bits of their previous birth. I'm sure at a certain level of subconscious this memory exists which can be tapped for all of us, but even there this would be strong impressions that have left their mark on the soul.

Awareness, Sri Sri Ravi Sankar said, will dissolve all Karma. If you are enjoying something, keeping yourself "detached" and watching yourself enjoying, apparently the Karma will be dissolved then and there itself. Hold on to this knowledge during meditation, and try to keep awareness alive.

And the best message of all by Ravi Sankar was that, what's the use of practising meditation if you are unable to carry over that feeling even after meditation. So remember this feeling of bliss, and enjoy it even with your eyes open!

K.J. Yesudas Vs. Kishore Kumar

Dr K.J. Yesudas, the true Gana Gandharvan. The deepest, most beautiful voice music in India has ever heard. There is no doubt about that. His film-career spanned from the late 60's if I'm not wrong till even the late 00's. While his most notable but unnoticed achievement is bringing popularity to Classical music. Even yours truly can attribute to that. He continues to perform classical concerts, and due to his brand power in film, it automatically brings at least some audiences in just owing to that fact.  Yesudas has sung in almost every Indian language, although the luckiest state is the one he hailed from, Kerala. He's also been handsomely awarded by National, state and film awards for his performances and contributions. But there is a flaw...in my opinion. I think his singing lacked total immersement. I felt so most in the sentimental, romantic, or tragic songs. And also in some of the comic songs. There is a certain detachment to the the singing. You know he's singing a romantic number or a song of angst, but I give more credit to its outcome to the wonderful lyricists and equally excellent musicians of Malayalam film music. Which is also why I think he never was as great a success in other languages. Without the support of equally talented musicians, the passion in the voice, must have been caught missing. Which is where S.P. Balasubramaniam capitalized in almost every other South Indian Language.

Kishore Kumar on the other hand, was this eccentric, sometimes melancholic, and most times comic character, who seemed to be hiding a certain pain. And this pain came out, oh very vividly so, in the many sentimental, philosophical and sad songs he's sung. Like another contemporary singer Mahendra Kapoor once commented, Kishore grasped the emotion of the song very easily. And he was so talented, that he could even sing some classical songs by purely mimicking and learning from the music director. His talent was peerless as he dabbled (competently) in acting, direction, music and lyrics, although singer was what defined him. Obviously he could never have sung most Carnatic or Hindustani classicals. But the range of his songs crossed the barriers of masses and classes alike; he's sung songs of every genre. Even though his singing calibre would not have reached Mohd Rafi's. His voice though is the best Hindi film industry has heard. Kishore Kumar's best songs have come under music director R.D. Burman. A large part of the memorable songs in Kishore's collections are owing to Burman's music. Although Burman was his most ardent supporter too. According to Burman, Kishore was the best singer a music director could get. He'd mimic the song just exactly as the music director wanted it to be recited, thus giving justice to the vision of the song.

When I think back or listen to the songs sung by Yesudas and Kishore, while Yesudas' songs leave me with admiration of the singing talent, Kishore's songs touch the core of some feeling in my heart. And while this makes Yesudas hands down the Best singer according to me, Kishore will always be my favorite singer!!

Influences from WWE

WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment), which I knew most of my life as WWF (World Wrestling Federation), was something of an enigma, an inspiration for fitness, and hero-worship, when growing up in Mumbai. We used to collect post-card pictures, and make scrap books with these. We used to have card-games with these, talk about the wrestlers, imagine how matches between them would fare..all sorts of things..

I remember the top stars at the time, the early 90's used to be Bret "The Hitman" Hart, The Undertaker, Razor Ramon..these were the heroes, or the "face" as I recently learnt is the term used within the company. And then there were the villains (heel), like Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Owen Hart, Yokozuna! I was always a big fan of Bret Hart. His wrestling style clearly showed how he stuck to the basics. No high-flying moves, focus on the opponent's weaknesses, and never give up. Kind of how I am too. I'm sure he was a boring superstar..

After I think the 9th standard, I lost touch of WWF, and crucial career-defining studies (at least in India) of Std 10th and 12th took over. I remember the last match being Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels in WrestleMania '94, which he controversially lost. I watched this match with my favorite cousin, Biju Ettan. Throughout this era though, it was discussed but mostly agreed upon that the matches were not anyway rigged. There were some rules to follow, but the outcome is totally like a sport!

When I got back to watching Wrestling, in around '99, I was disappointed to see Hitman had been turned heel. There is an extended documentary where even he explains he had a lot of concerns about this move by the company. I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin win King-of-the-Ring. A bad guy with no respect but a lot of guts. I hated him when promos revealed how he was targetting the "old generation" that Hitman reflected, and the intense rivalry between them. I loved seeing how Hitman beat him in that match. And yet, since Stone Cold never gave up, he won my and the fans' respect.

I thought I was done with WWF after this, as Hitman's era seemed to have ended, but the WWE (which it was known as by then) had a real surprise storyline up their sleeve. The Stone Cold vs. Vince McMohan the boss was a damn good entertainer! Mind you, even at this phase I had no idea all these are cooked up storylines. And I applauded how Stone Cold won the championship against all odds from the boss, dumped all norms, and stayed himself all through. He defended the belt against the best contenders, the Undertaker, Kane, Mick Foley, The Rock. But sometime in between, Engineering studies got hectic, and I let go.

And since then, the guts of Stone Cold and resilience of the Hit Man have always stayed as cherished inspirations.

I recently found out how these are all storylines, including that entire fights are choreographed. I still am amazed how they do it...
But with that understanding though, I might never go back into it the way it was back in the 90's and early '00s.

But from a fan who really learnt a lot about inspirational qualities in life from examples of characters that were created, a Big Thank You to the WWE and a Bigger Salute to the Stars, the inspiring Wrestlers!!

The Road to Moksha

There was first, the search for Purpose. Two things have - perhaps partly, but surely - answered: 1) The worldly responsibilities; 2) The knowledge that Maya is like a game.  For I see that in my mind, the restlessness of a search is gone.

As knowledge grew, I'm realizing that this is, and will not be, our first visit here. That we never really lose our loved ones. We all are but one. And we keep meeting in subsequent births. This has helped, the knowledge from various aspects, the scientific (the book "Many Lives, Many Masters"), and the spiritual (talks and material from "Art of Living" and the Vedic material on the internet). It has helped to drop the fear of death, to have no regrets, and to as much possible per current capability, perceive the nature of life. It will all come around...

There is also a golden "method" I now have in hand, thanks to the "Art of Living" talks. To stay in the "Mode of Awareness". Not just when meditating, but in every activity of life. Sri Sri Ravi Sankar has explained, that it is this that helps dissolve the Karmic influences. Obviously there is much, much room for improvement for me. I'll do my best. Yoga and my attempts to reduce the need for sleep have helped. For deeper meditation, even though my office workload, and illnessess while the body builds immunity to the Bangalore weather, have delayed. But Adi Sankaracharya's point that Yoga and Meditation in itself do not help achieve Moksha, but indirectly help in creating the mental state to achieve it, have been both an insightful point, and an introspective one on how long this journey could be.

Or maybe not! As I write this, I'm thinking, I agree with Adi Sankaracharya based on two experiences: 1) Even great Yoga acharya's are known for sexual scandals, and not really directly achievers of Moksha. In itself, there is nothing wrong in sexual conduct and I'm not attempting to be judgemental about it. It's like my experience with artistes. When you hear them talk, when you learn their thoughts, you realize that no matter how great they are in their fields, be it music or film or in this case Yoga, their spiritual development has not hand-in-hand. So it takes something else.. 2) Sri Sri Ravi Sankar's exhortions that there is nothing like someday, suddenly, Enlightenment will come from somewhere. All the sadhana is like removing husk from the grain. What we are to achieve, already exists within. In this aspect, the insightful book "Siddhartha" also helped. Denying oneself will not help us "realize". Accepting all is what helps.

Among Vedic purusharthas, is also mentioned the goal of "Moksha". That it's not akin to running away from the worldly life. It's akin to how children love their small toys, and find their ultimate joy in it. While as adults we grow over it. It this this mode of realizing what the true nature of everything is, that helps their interactions with us in the world does not add up to Karmic bindings, be it good or bad! Foremost thing is to realize and accept, that everything, absolutely everything that's happening to us, is nobody else's fault, or even credit. It's the adding up of our own Karma. Difficult to realize, but one must also strive to achieve complete harmony and balance in all four purusharthas, that I believe is what would be the measure of a truly successful life. Everything in Life Just Happens, one can only have the Intent!

Where do you search..

Where is pilgrimage, it is here
Where is God, he is within
What do you search, oh dear seeker
Stay a fool, dedicate and then ask

There is a learning, from proof to knowledge
But proof is mithya, so your knowledge ever-changing
Instead of asking, can I see upon opening eyes
Open your eyes, and then see for yourself

Mohanlal's characters' personal traits

The guy's a talent! A master of his craft. And one needs to credit Mohanlal in that respect. Without stifling the freedom of what his other personality traits he chooses by free will. This will only help his creativity bear more expression not feel hindered or burdened by a social and public pressure.

Recently his film "Devasuram" was playing again on TV, and I noticed how the character typically also kept a white handkerchief in hand. And guess what, I found myself uninhibitedly holding one myself after that! Years before when I saw this movie, and noticed the character had his watch tied to his right wrist, it'd peaked my curiosity and I began tying the watch to my right wrist. I must admit I still prefer it to this day, although most work-days it's still on my left hand. This character of Neelakantan, in performance and embodiment, was done really very well by Mohanlal. I'm not sure even he realizes. A masterful, well-developed character!

 In another film "Varavelpu", I'd noticed how he kept touching his shirt pocket. This is a very typical, unconscious habit of Indian men, who in days of old when money was short, used to keep some cash in their shirt pocket. It was a way of checking that the money's still there! I'd seen my father and many others doing it unconsciously at various times in the day. And this fit so well with Mohanlal's characters in the film; a man who's insecure, having started a new private bus business recently.

I'd watched "Ravanaprabhu" when I was in the Infosys Mysore Guest House. And I distinctly remember the spring in my step when going for dinner later! The action-oriented character was played with such energy, you couldn't help but grasp a little of it yourself.

Then there was "Aham" where his bearded look, and deep, intense performance made me feel he was dissolving some pain from even deep within himself. I began loving the slightly bearded look in this film and in "Nirnayam", on Mohanlal and even myself, though never really got to learning how best to keep a beard groomed. And couldn't adopt one for myself...

I'm sure there are many other such roles where Lal's personality traits in a film have caught the viewer's attention. Or maybe just the fan's attention. But these are ones that come immediately to my mind right now.

Hats off to to the master-performer.

You are Everywhere

What is lost, if I am lost
What is created, if I was born
I was here, always here
In different form, that was not seen

All in Life, has just happened
And for that the world, is not enough
I do not ask, for miracles
For You and I, and Life is one!

See See..

See see, See that idly over there
You know son, it's not idly
It's not idly, it is Moon

See see, See that laddoo shining up
You know son, it's not laddoo
It's not laddoo, it is Son

See see, See that fluffy white ice-cream
You know son, it's not ice-cream
It's not ice-cream, it is Cloud

The sky spraying shower, is called rain
This nature's tub, is the lake

When this wondrous world exists
Why do you settle, for so less
Go out, explore, live in freedom
Life's not one, you'll get many others
Yet each one's best, so live with jest!!

Take a Hike!

It's hard to say, why religion exists? Hard to understand, why it becomes a mass-accumulator. Easy to see why people fall trap to its social herdings..it gives them an identity. Man is in search of an Identity, about who he is, all his life. Religion has the intoxic mix of spiritual and social gathering. We feel connected with the group socially and spiritually.

But see the toll it takes. It divides man from man. People get defined by their religious beliefs. And worse, sometimes that seems to hold true!

These days there's a new controversy: Hindu saints saying Sai Baba not be worshipped.
Regardless of anybody's opinion, why do they have to get didactic. This is not what religion, and especially the Hindu way of life, was meant to be.

Religion started off, and should've stayed as an individual's journey. An invidual's journey to self-realization. Social norms should have been kept separate and not intertwined with religious norms. In that I respect the Hinduism religion being the most tolerant; not enforcing the individual to any practice. I think it became a social accumulation more as a response to other religions who were able to exert influence around the world, by commanding mass gathering, fellowship and rules.

But regardless, every religion should not intervene with individual freedom. These days, the much-hated "western culture" has brought about that good. Little do they realize that people even in western societies follow strict religious norms. It's more an individual choice there though, than something enforced. And that's how it should stay!

Let religious influences, on either side of the pendulum, be discouraged, a heady concoction though it might be. Let religion be encouraged as an individual's journey, his/her search or pursuit.  Let religious intermingling be encouraged in all social institutions, celebrations, and even marriage. And those who dislike the idea, let's tell them to "Take a Hike!"

I am One..

I walk down the green, my shoes are clean
They chirp overhead, the birds at their best
I know the sun will, any moment now
I await the glory glimpse, the scenic crimson brim

I know that we are one, the Surya and the Son
I will forever desist, the hesitation and resist
To accept, to bind, to stifle, the kindling of the mind
To know that I am more, than just a beating heart

Are we Connected...from Before

Dear Son,  You amaze me. I wonder, and I'm almost getting convinced now. That we are connected, from before. Like I knew you were a boy even while you were in Mamma's womb. Even then when you look at me, and I know our souls speak. You seem to guess our feelings right. You like the small things I and Mamma say..you belong to us, we are the same family!!

And most of all, like today, you are equally fond of the very same songs that I love! These songs, some of them old film ones, some devotional, which for no reason have attracted me. These same songs engross you! Have we heard these, together, a lifetime before? Did we know each other, were we connected, once before...

Life is an eternity, from one birth to the other. Until we "realize", and choose to escape. I know now no fear of Death. It follows a period of deep rest. The anguish I choose not to carry, I realize the nature of Self is joyous. Does your love bind, prevent me from the next stage. Oh c'mon Pradeep, aren't there so many entanglements even before that!!

Musings from the book "Siddhartha"

The book Siddhartha, I heard from the then CEO-designate of Infosys, Mr Vishal Sikka. He kept quoting the book on various occasions. Perhaps this is his favorite book. I took it upon me to read it.

The book is philosophically heavy. The ones who'll find it most interesting are the spiritual seekers. Those looking for answers on why life exists, from the spiritual angle. Being one of those, I just enjoyed the book. At places I did not agree with the protagonist Siddhartha, at his thoughts and actions. You could judge one's own level of spiritual maturity when you realize certain early actions of Siddhartha, or how one aspects his point of views later on in life.

In a sense, the book also makes you instrospect. To ask yourself are you willing to agree or adhere to everything Siddhartha had to say, to follow his path, even if true. Remember, isn't it Siddhartha himself who says that no teaching can lead you to salvation. Each person's path has to be unique!

I see the reflection of the Hindu way of life, and how it helps one, through the experience of Life itself, to reach salvation; the concept of the four ashrams in Life. I also began to get a deeper appreciation why this way of life doesn't expect anything from the individual. No need for temples, idols, books, teachings. Although if you need any source, every kind of guide is available.

Siddhartha could never have achieved enlightenment by converting into a monk. Like he said, those teachings are good, but will continue to keep you as a seeker, as happened to his friend Govinda. For experiencing enlightenment, one has to go through Life, and still be able to see the transitionary phase of things.

This is where I also agree with the teaching of Sri Sri Ravi Sankar, that the only way to dissolve Karma, is "awareness". You have to live out your current Karma, but if you are aware of what's happening, you refrain from action that traps you further into the cycle. Or perhaps even leaves you (the self or the soul) alone as the observer, and not the doer. So you do not accumulate the effects (good or bad).

And that's where the teaching of the Gita was point-on: If you are already in the war, fight it. The time to rethink it has gone. You'll have to live through this Karma (or die, as could happen in a war). But being unattached, where you are not doing it for personal benefit or other's doom, takes you out of the loop. Leaves you with a chance to leave the effects (the war-wounds) with the body, and not carry it on your soul!

The Spider's Web

Walking in my shoes, Living in my Dreams
With Aims and Pursuits, my Life is Replete

I wonder Magic, is this whole world
Am neither real, nor anything around
How beautifully it has, trapped me in it
With each act I just, keep getting pulled in
There is one savior, it is my Breath
The minute it stops, reality begins

But still this world, I keep marveling
Has thrown it on us, the Spider'sWeb
And yet we wonder, what's going on
How can we know, until we look from beyond

Trapped in thy Dream

Imagine a situation where you are trapped in your dream. You can't come back, you can't wake up. That's what happened to Dilip. He found himself lost, and caged and trapped. He suffered inconsolably, controlled by a soul on vengeance.

His consciousness had escaped, as does everyone's in dream-state. While we can come back, to senses and this world; poor Dilip could not one day, his consciousness was held back. His wife when she woke up, she tried her level best. She could see he was breathing, but yet not waking up. Is this what they call coma, she haplessly wondered aloud...

Alas medical science, limits itself in its process. That seeing is believing, learning from intuition is nothing. So while the knowledge of "What" has progressed, the "Why" and "How" continues to confound. And while another soul could have rescued, someone needed to be told.  Instead they left him in bed, with glucose injected.

The wails and the sighs, could Dilip hear from within. For he was not gone, he just could not come back!!

This River Still..

This River still, bears its heat
It flows on merit, and mirth uphill
It glows in sun, and moonlight alike
It holds fire within, and coolness abright

I know it breathes, it speaks, it listens
It is I who speed by, not waiting by him
It is blue and is black, angry and is calm
It is all of these and yet, water is not these

It exists at same time, at source and sea
It teaches me verily, there is no such thing as time

Hear the Silence

I heard it in the silence, that rustle of the leaf
That beauty in space, of nature divine

I wet in the rains, I dried under sun
My Self was this creation, a glow innocent

So much to do, but no inkling to say
What words can convey, that heaven is earth

You sleep on soft grass, and still look upwards
Paradise is not beyond, it is just behind a veil

Why do we live life

I sometimes feel we should cut the crap out of this rat-race of career. Go back into the question of why are you doing this. Do not do it for your next promotion. This body, this life-history is not what matters. Do it for a real sense of bigger purpose. Let that purpose be to make life better for someone. Let the means be your work.

If you are rooted in who you are, what life is, what is really under your control and not, you stop getting too worried and worked up in office. In effect, you behave better with your colleagues, and give better output in work. You are more in control of the situation in this context, than any else.

Why do we live life? What's more important for us? What gives us most satisfaction, a blissful feeling? To me, it's family. My writing, my poetry. My meditation, physical exercises. Temples and the poignancy in their sandal, flower and fire scented air. Nature, greenery. The sun.

At work, I've felt so when a code I'd written executed successfully. I got this feeling when I score 96/100 in Mech in Sem 2, and recently when I scored 740 in GMAT. A sense of satisfaction of a job well done. I feel a drive to set a process straight, be it at home or work, and I strive towards it. I really like it when it completes well. It's not really a blissful feeling, as it is the second level feeling of satisfaction. I like it, but can live without it.

I see a lot of reasoning in the 4 ashrams of life. I think there will be a Vanaprastham for me, after Grahasthashram, which will again be secondary to Sanyas ashram. And to be clear, these ashrams reside more in the mind than the physical self. Although the physical seclusion would be ideal.

Life flies by. I was the same person when I was 15. I might have learnt, worked, formed family. But I am the same. And I think this applies for all humans. Matter is, if they realize it or not.

One realizes that shortcuts, negative manipulations, and actually even positive Karmas matter little because you keep getting pulled into a cycle. More importantly, negative karmas keep pulling you farther and farther away from realizing the truth, that's all. But someday, somehow, in some life, this Self will suffer through it. If one just realizes this, people would just put effort towards a goal, but with no attachment to it.

The result will and has to come. And even if it doesn't and when it does, it does not belong to you. You were always just the medium. Your purpose is bigger. It is that of the Soul, it is that of Life.

The Mode of Awareness

I recently heard an interesting talk by Sri Sri Ravisankar on Karma and Reincarnation. He spoke about how "awareness" can dissolve all Karma. It was thought-provoking...

The gist of his message was that if "you" (the Self) are observing yourself, your actions, your Karma, then you realize what's happening, what could happen, and you stay detached. The very act of being detached to your current Karma will ensure you don't earn future reactions to it, in effect "dissolving" it, and freeing you from the Karmic cycle. Easier said than done, of course?

But I tried it. Of course one should have firstly reached the level of spirituality to realize that this body is temporary, but there is a self within it, which has stayed unchanged, since childhood. The mind, the emotional maturity, the physical nature and features, always keeps changing, even if not always visible. But the Self stands apart, experiences, and carries impressions like Guruji put it. These impressions are the Karma that earn its effects.

So if we "position" oneself in the Self first, and watch what are doing and experiencing (and we are doing something every second, even if just watching what we are doing), then the first immediate benefit I experienced was relaxation. I felt the stress floating away. In an instant I realized this was just like the feeling of meditation. Indeed, this is what we do during meditation isn't it, separate "self" and observe. We just let the thoughts come and let go without any physical activity during meditation. So we are relaxed and are definitely not earning any Karma. The thoughts are good or bad, but it's in the mind. The self is detached.

The next benefit I realized, I guess which is a product of calming down and getting free from stress, is we prioritize things right than just rush.

Our physical movement is slower, but not really slow. The right word is graceful.
Our general  demeanor is to look at the surroundings with awe. The greenery, the small antics of a child, the humor in small things, the goodness of beings. It's as if the soul has opened its eyes and is finding everything new and beautiful.

This Mode of Awareness is also resembles the mode of creativity. When I'm writing this article, or a poem, I'm just letting the words flow by. My mind is processing it, but after the fact. The idea keeps on getting generated from the consciousness or beyond, and the mind's just shaping it instantly. Poetry, especially, flows most freely in this mode of creativity. Words are rhyming, phrases rhythmic. In this mode, I'm just sitting still, and communicating what's coming from within. That's how creativity arises anyways. We see it in music, in painting. And I think one is a subset of the other. Awareness precedes the mode of creativity.

And because we are in the mode of creativity, in general any work done is of good quality. Even when work needs analysis say, we switch to the analytical mode, but because we were in the more relaxed mode of creativity before this, we are less tired, less stressed, more relaxed.

The last, but the not the least, thing I noted was that it was not possible to stay always in this mode. At some point you get engrossed in what you are doing, and obviously the Karmic clock starts ticking without us realizing. I'm sure the gurus always stay in this Mode of Awareness. The realized beings always free of Karma although always in the mode of service and activity. This is perhaps where practice will lead us..

The travails of home-search in Bangalore

Having moved recently to Bangalore, I've been searching for a home to settle in. And oh the price-jolt that I got! I thought my years of savings will get me a dream villa, but the fact is it can only buy me a 2 bhk, and that too upon compromise, if I want to immediately move in.

I've been on this painstaking search, most evenings and weekend days and nights. As reality of prices set it, I compromised from villa to 4bhk, from 4bhk to 3.5 and now 3 bhk. I've been led around by fresh-constuction agents. A very highly commendable indiahomes.com to the agents who want maximum return out of minimum effort, and the so many generally good ones in between. Through these agents or through direct interaction, I met a lot of flat owners also. And all of them, such nice people. An Infoscion, other IT people, and people whose professions I may not know. But all of them, very smart, polite and good people. All very friendly, all cooperative, patient to my questions and queries.

It's been hard work. Losing weekends just watching one apartment to another. Driving long distances to and fro for these. Falling ill, perhaps due to travel in the sun, and perhaps the smoke and dust. The mental taxing due to the plethora of options and confusions thereof. Bangalore is at the hub of construction. It was a perfect analogy of "water water everywhere, but not a sip to drink".

In the end, the most credit was to family, especially my father-in-law, who help me most in the final lap. I guess this was part-guilt as his adherence to Vastu without workarounds was the main cause of making this journey so long. But I guess in the end it might turn worth it.

Although the apartment I've currently shortlisted might most likely be a good investment, I'm not sure I'd be too happy living in it. I honestly hope I adjust and let go and be more accepting of what's arriving. And more importantly, I pray to the auspicious moments and Gods to bless the next steps most.

The magic of breath

I heard Sri Sri Ravi Sankar say in a talk recently that our breath reflects our emotion. So amazing is that observation, yet something that's so apparent to us. Yet, what is said next was more important and contextual. He said, so through our breath, we can take control of our emotions again. For example, we breathe heavily when angry. So if we become aware of this when angry, and choose to take a deep breath instead, our feeling of anger dissipates. Try it, definitely works! And actually, we already do it to take control of our anger, don't we? Just that we never really thought that this can be applied to other situations too, for our benefit.

I've heard Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev also reflect upon breath. He said nature hangs on a fine balance. All it takes for us to lose our life, is just a breath away. If we breathe out and don't breathe in, life is gone. He too advised for more awareness and towards meditation, to just be aware of our breath. He said that over time we'll begin seeing the clean cut between us and our life, through breath.

The whole Sudarshan Kriya from Sri Sri Ravi Sankar's Art of Living is about breath exercises. Yoga's essence I recently surmised from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev's teachings is about prepping up our jeevatma (life energy) to rise through the nadis passing by the chakras in the body and join the parmatman (universal energy), which really is what gives us moksha. Looking at it the other way, this might also explain why we are performing the asana better by just focusing on our breath and keeping the mind empty. The reason si really the other way round. The asana is meant for us to get control over our breath and activate the jeevatma to rise.

Indeed the mystery of the breath is profound. And at least I have found it very useful to be able to focus on it easier, to just realize how just one breath stands between human life and death.

Musings from the book 'Many Lives, Many Masters"

This is the true story of a famous Psychiatrist's experience with a patient whose therapy sessions led the Doctor to change his views on reincarnation. The author came to realize how blessed his life really was, how masters from other dimensions look over us all, how souls collaborate across lives and help each other out.

For the lay reader, the best part would be that death really is a beautiful and quick experience, not a turmoil as many of us perceive it to me. It also tells us that we don't really lose out on our loved ones. We keep meeting them across lives.

I had a couple of questions upon reading the book, which were answered in readings thereafter:

- Howcome the patient was able to say her previous life was (say) in 1800 BC. If she travelled to that era in hypnotisation, through her subconscious, how did she know she was in a pre-Christ era. The Doctor has explained elsewhere that come to think of it, she's communicating all of this in English. So there is a super-conscious that is communicating all this to us. That super-conscious calculates where it stands in the prior birth and is communicating to us. This for me was a convincing argument.

- Howcome each of the previous births was of a human. I heard in a recent audio hearing by Sri Sri Ravi Sankar, that once we take a human birth, we don't really go back to our previous karmic cycles of other animals. We simply keep repeating the human birth, until we realize moksha. This answered my other question.

Overall, reading this book really leaves you with a good feeling. That we are not really alone. And that we don't really leave people behind. We do meet them in afterlife. Life is a continuous channel.

The findings were consistent also with my learnings from Hinduism, and my own observations of how Nature is functioning through the single law of Karma.

Recommended reading.