The Road to Moksha

There was first, the search for Purpose. Two things have - perhaps partly, but surely - answered: 1) The worldly responsibilities; 2) The knowledge that Maya is like a game.  For I see that in my mind, the restlessness of a search is gone.

As knowledge grew, I'm realizing that this is, and will not be, our first visit here. That we never really lose our loved ones. We all are but one. And we keep meeting in subsequent births. This has helped, the knowledge from various aspects, the scientific (the book "Many Lives, Many Masters"), and the spiritual (talks and material from "Art of Living" and the Vedic material on the internet). It has helped to drop the fear of death, to have no regrets, and to as much possible per current capability, perceive the nature of life. It will all come around...

There is also a golden "method" I now have in hand, thanks to the "Art of Living" talks. To stay in the "Mode of Awareness". Not just when meditating, but in every activity of life. Sri Sri Ravi Sankar has explained, that it is this that helps dissolve the Karmic influences. Obviously there is much, much room for improvement for me. I'll do my best. Yoga and my attempts to reduce the need for sleep have helped. For deeper meditation, even though my office workload, and illnessess while the body builds immunity to the Bangalore weather, have delayed. But Adi Sankaracharya's point that Yoga and Meditation in itself do not help achieve Moksha, but indirectly help in creating the mental state to achieve it, have been both an insightful point, and an introspective one on how long this journey could be.

Or maybe not! As I write this, I'm thinking, I agree with Adi Sankaracharya based on two experiences: 1) Even great Yoga acharya's are known for sexual scandals, and not really directly achievers of Moksha. In itself, there is nothing wrong in sexual conduct and I'm not attempting to be judgemental about it. It's like my experience with artistes. When you hear them talk, when you learn their thoughts, you realize that no matter how great they are in their fields, be it music or film or in this case Yoga, their spiritual development has not hand-in-hand. So it takes something else.. 2) Sri Sri Ravi Sankar's exhortions that there is nothing like someday, suddenly, Enlightenment will come from somewhere. All the sadhana is like removing husk from the grain. What we are to achieve, already exists within. In this aspect, the insightful book "Siddhartha" also helped. Denying oneself will not help us "realize". Accepting all is what helps.

Among Vedic purusharthas, is also mentioned the goal of "Moksha". That it's not akin to running away from the worldly life. It's akin to how children love their small toys, and find their ultimate joy in it. While as adults we grow over it. It this this mode of realizing what the true nature of everything is, that helps their interactions with us in the world does not add up to Karmic bindings, be it good or bad! Foremost thing is to realize and accept, that everything, absolutely everything that's happening to us, is nobody else's fault, or even credit. It's the adding up of our own Karma. Difficult to realize, but one must also strive to achieve complete harmony and balance in all four purusharthas, that I believe is what would be the measure of a truly successful life. Everything in Life Just Happens, one can only have the Intent!

Where do you search..

Where is pilgrimage, it is here
Where is God, he is within
What do you search, oh dear seeker
Stay a fool, dedicate and then ask

There is a learning, from proof to knowledge
But proof is mithya, so your knowledge ever-changing
Instead of asking, can I see upon opening eyes
Open your eyes, and then see for yourself

Mohanlal's characters' personal traits

The guy's a talent! A master of his craft. And one needs to credit Mohanlal in that respect. Without stifling the freedom of what his other personality traits he chooses by free will. This will only help his creativity bear more expression not feel hindered or burdened by a social and public pressure.

Recently his film "Devasuram" was playing again on TV, and I noticed how the character typically also kept a white handkerchief in hand. And guess what, I found myself uninhibitedly holding one myself after that! Years before when I saw this movie, and noticed the character had his watch tied to his right wrist, it'd peaked my curiosity and I began tying the watch to my right wrist. I must admit I still prefer it to this day, although most work-days it's still on my left hand. This character of Neelakantan, in performance and embodiment, was done really very well by Mohanlal. I'm not sure even he realizes. A masterful, well-developed character!

 In another film "Varavelpu", I'd noticed how he kept touching his shirt pocket. This is a very typical, unconscious habit of Indian men, who in days of old when money was short, used to keep some cash in their shirt pocket. It was a way of checking that the money's still there! I'd seen my father and many others doing it unconsciously at various times in the day. And this fit so well with Mohanlal's characters in the film; a man who's insecure, having started a new private bus business recently.

I'd watched "Ravanaprabhu" when I was in the Infosys Mysore Guest House. And I distinctly remember the spring in my step when going for dinner later! The action-oriented character was played with such energy, you couldn't help but grasp a little of it yourself.

Then there was "Aham" where his bearded look, and deep, intense performance made me feel he was dissolving some pain from even deep within himself. I began loving the slightly bearded look in this film and in "Nirnayam", on Mohanlal and even myself, though never really got to learning how best to keep a beard groomed. And couldn't adopt one for myself...

I'm sure there are many other such roles where Lal's personality traits in a film have caught the viewer's attention. Or maybe just the fan's attention. But these are ones that come immediately to my mind right now.

Hats off to to the master-performer.

You are Everywhere

What is lost, if I am lost
What is created, if I was born
I was here, always here
In different form, that was not seen

All in Life, has just happened
And for that the world, is not enough
I do not ask, for miracles
For You and I, and Life is one!

See See..

See see, See that idly over there
You know son, it's not idly
It's not idly, it is Moon

See see, See that laddoo shining up
You know son, it's not laddoo
It's not laddoo, it is Son

See see, See that fluffy white ice-cream
You know son, it's not ice-cream
It's not ice-cream, it is Cloud

The sky spraying shower, is called rain
This nature's tub, is the lake

When this wondrous world exists
Why do you settle, for so less
Go out, explore, live in freedom
Life's not one, you'll get many others
Yet each one's best, so live with jest!!

Take a Hike!

It's hard to say, why religion exists? Hard to understand, why it becomes a mass-accumulator. Easy to see why people fall trap to its social herdings..it gives them an identity. Man is in search of an Identity, about who he is, all his life. Religion has the intoxic mix of spiritual and social gathering. We feel connected with the group socially and spiritually.

But see the toll it takes. It divides man from man. People get defined by their religious beliefs. And worse, sometimes that seems to hold true!

These days there's a new controversy: Hindu saints saying Sai Baba not be worshipped.
Regardless of anybody's opinion, why do they have to get didactic. This is not what religion, and especially the Hindu way of life, was meant to be.

Religion started off, and should've stayed as an individual's journey. An invidual's journey to self-realization. Social norms should have been kept separate and not intertwined with religious norms. In that I respect the Hinduism religion being the most tolerant; not enforcing the individual to any practice. I think it became a social accumulation more as a response to other religions who were able to exert influence around the world, by commanding mass gathering, fellowship and rules.

But regardless, every religion should not intervene with individual freedom. These days, the much-hated "western culture" has brought about that good. Little do they realize that people even in western societies follow strict religious norms. It's more an individual choice there though, than something enforced. And that's how it should stay!

Let religious influences, on either side of the pendulum, be discouraged, a heady concoction though it might be. Let religion be encouraged as an individual's journey, his/her search or pursuit.  Let religious intermingling be encouraged in all social institutions, celebrations, and even marriage. And those who dislike the idea, let's tell them to "Take a Hike!"

I am One..

I walk down the green, my shoes are clean
They chirp overhead, the birds at their best
I know the sun will, any moment now
I await the glory glimpse, the scenic crimson brim

I know that we are one, the Surya and the Son
I will forever desist, the hesitation and resist
To accept, to bind, to stifle, the kindling of the mind
To know that I am more, than just a beating heart

Are we Connected...from Before

Dear Son,  You amaze me. I wonder, and I'm almost getting convinced now. That we are connected, from before. Like I knew you were a boy even while you were in Mamma's womb. Even then when you look at me, and I know our souls speak. You seem to guess our feelings right. You like the small things I and Mamma say..you belong to us, we are the same family!!

And most of all, like today, you are equally fond of the very same songs that I love! These songs, some of them old film ones, some devotional, which for no reason have attracted me. These same songs engross you! Have we heard these, together, a lifetime before? Did we know each other, were we connected, once before...

Life is an eternity, from one birth to the other. Until we "realize", and choose to escape. I know now no fear of Death. It follows a period of deep rest. The anguish I choose not to carry, I realize the nature of Self is joyous. Does your love bind, prevent me from the next stage. Oh c'mon Pradeep, aren't there so many entanglements even before that!!

Musings from the book "Siddhartha"

The book Siddhartha, I heard from the then CEO-designate of Infosys, Mr Vishal Sikka. He kept quoting the book on various occasions. Perhaps this is his favorite book. I took it upon me to read it.

The book is philosophically heavy. The ones who'll find it most interesting are the spiritual seekers. Those looking for answers on why life exists, from the spiritual angle. Being one of those, I just enjoyed the book. At places I did not agree with the protagonist Siddhartha, at his thoughts and actions. You could judge one's own level of spiritual maturity when you realize certain early actions of Siddhartha, or how one aspects his point of views later on in life.

In a sense, the book also makes you instrospect. To ask yourself are you willing to agree or adhere to everything Siddhartha had to say, to follow his path, even if true. Remember, isn't it Siddhartha himself who says that no teaching can lead you to salvation. Each person's path has to be unique!

I see the reflection of the Hindu way of life, and how it helps one, through the experience of Life itself, to reach salvation; the concept of the four ashrams in Life. I also began to get a deeper appreciation why this way of life doesn't expect anything from the individual. No need for temples, idols, books, teachings. Although if you need any source, every kind of guide is available.

Siddhartha could never have achieved enlightenment by converting into a monk. Like he said, those teachings are good, but will continue to keep you as a seeker, as happened to his friend Govinda. For experiencing enlightenment, one has to go through Life, and still be able to see the transitionary phase of things.

This is where I also agree with the teaching of Sri Sri Ravi Sankar, that the only way to dissolve Karma, is "awareness". You have to live out your current Karma, but if you are aware of what's happening, you refrain from action that traps you further into the cycle. Or perhaps even leaves you (the self or the soul) alone as the observer, and not the doer. So you do not accumulate the effects (good or bad).

And that's where the teaching of the Gita was point-on: If you are already in the war, fight it. The time to rethink it has gone. You'll have to live through this Karma (or die, as could happen in a war). But being unattached, where you are not doing it for personal benefit or other's doom, takes you out of the loop. Leaves you with a chance to leave the effects (the war-wounds) with the body, and not carry it on your soul!

The Spider's Web

Walking in my shoes, Living in my Dreams
With Aims and Pursuits, my Life is Replete

I wonder Magic, is this whole world
Am neither real, nor anything around
How beautifully it has, trapped me in it
With each act I just, keep getting pulled in
There is one savior, it is my Breath
The minute it stops, reality begins

But still this world, I keep marveling
Has thrown it on us, the Spider'sWeb
And yet we wonder, what's going on
How can we know, until we look from beyond

Trapped in thy Dream

Imagine a situation where you are trapped in your dream. You can't come back, you can't wake up. That's what happened to Dilip. He found himself lost, and caged and trapped. He suffered inconsolably, controlled by a soul on vengeance.

His consciousness had escaped, as does everyone's in dream-state. While we can come back, to senses and this world; poor Dilip could not one day, his consciousness was held back. His wife when she woke up, she tried her level best. She could see he was breathing, but yet not waking up. Is this what they call coma, she haplessly wondered aloud...

Alas medical science, limits itself in its process. That seeing is believing, learning from intuition is nothing. So while the knowledge of "What" has progressed, the "Why" and "How" continues to confound. And while another soul could have rescued, someone needed to be told.  Instead they left him in bed, with glucose injected.

The wails and the sighs, could Dilip hear from within. For he was not gone, he just could not come back!!

This River Still..

This River still, bears its heat
It flows on merit, and mirth uphill
It glows in sun, and moonlight alike
It holds fire within, and coolness abright

I know it breathes, it speaks, it listens
It is I who speed by, not waiting by him
It is blue and is black, angry and is calm
It is all of these and yet, water is not these

It exists at same time, at source and sea
It teaches me verily, there is no such thing as time

Hear the Silence

I heard it in the silence, that rustle of the leaf
That beauty in space, of nature divine

I wet in the rains, I dried under sun
My Self was this creation, a glow innocent

So much to do, but no inkling to say
What words can convey, that heaven is earth

You sleep on soft grass, and still look upwards
Paradise is not beyond, it is just behind a veil

Why do we live life

I sometimes feel we should cut the crap out of this rat-race of career. Go back into the question of why are you doing this. Do not do it for your next promotion. This body, this life-history is not what matters. Do it for a real sense of bigger purpose. Let that purpose be to make life better for someone. Let the means be your work.

If you are rooted in who you are, what life is, what is really under your control and not, you stop getting too worried and worked up in office. In effect, you behave better with your colleagues, and give better output in work. You are more in control of the situation in this context, than any else.

Why do we live life? What's more important for us? What gives us most satisfaction, a blissful feeling? To me, it's family. My writing, my poetry. My meditation, physical exercises. Temples and the poignancy in their sandal, flower and fire scented air. Nature, greenery. The sun.

At work, I've felt so when a code I'd written executed successfully. I got this feeling when I score 96/100 in Mech in Sem 2, and recently when I scored 740 in GMAT. A sense of satisfaction of a job well done. I feel a drive to set a process straight, be it at home or work, and I strive towards it. I really like it when it completes well. It's not really a blissful feeling, as it is the second level feeling of satisfaction. I like it, but can live without it.

I see a lot of reasoning in the 4 ashrams of life. I think there will be a Vanaprastham for me, after Grahasthashram, which will again be secondary to Sanyas ashram. And to be clear, these ashrams reside more in the mind than the physical self. Although the physical seclusion would be ideal.

Life flies by. I was the same person when I was 15. I might have learnt, worked, formed family. But I am the same. And I think this applies for all humans. Matter is, if they realize it or not.

One realizes that shortcuts, negative manipulations, and actually even positive Karmas matter little because you keep getting pulled into a cycle. More importantly, negative karmas keep pulling you farther and farther away from realizing the truth, that's all. But someday, somehow, in some life, this Self will suffer through it. If one just realizes this, people would just put effort towards a goal, but with no attachment to it.

The result will and has to come. And even if it doesn't and when it does, it does not belong to you. You were always just the medium. Your purpose is bigger. It is that of the Soul, it is that of Life.

The Mode of Awareness

I recently heard an interesting talk by Sri Sri Ravisankar on Karma and Reincarnation. He spoke about how "awareness" can dissolve all Karma. It was thought-provoking...

The gist of his message was that if "you" (the Self) are observing yourself, your actions, your Karma, then you realize what's happening, what could happen, and you stay detached. The very act of being detached to your current Karma will ensure you don't earn future reactions to it, in effect "dissolving" it, and freeing you from the Karmic cycle. Easier said than done, of course?

But I tried it. Of course one should have firstly reached the level of spirituality to realize that this body is temporary, but there is a self within it, which has stayed unchanged, since childhood. The mind, the emotional maturity, the physical nature and features, always keeps changing, even if not always visible. But the Self stands apart, experiences, and carries impressions like Guruji put it. These impressions are the Karma that earn its effects.

So if we "position" oneself in the Self first, and watch what are doing and experiencing (and we are doing something every second, even if just watching what we are doing), then the first immediate benefit I experienced was relaxation. I felt the stress floating away. In an instant I realized this was just like the feeling of meditation. Indeed, this is what we do during meditation isn't it, separate "self" and observe. We just let the thoughts come and let go without any physical activity during meditation. So we are relaxed and are definitely not earning any Karma. The thoughts are good or bad, but it's in the mind. The self is detached.

The next benefit I realized, I guess which is a product of calming down and getting free from stress, is we prioritize things right than just rush.

Our physical movement is slower, but not really slow. The right word is graceful.
Our general  demeanor is to look at the surroundings with awe. The greenery, the small antics of a child, the humor in small things, the goodness of beings. It's as if the soul has opened its eyes and is finding everything new and beautiful.

This Mode of Awareness is also resembles the mode of creativity. When I'm writing this article, or a poem, I'm just letting the words flow by. My mind is processing it, but after the fact. The idea keeps on getting generated from the consciousness or beyond, and the mind's just shaping it instantly. Poetry, especially, flows most freely in this mode of creativity. Words are rhyming, phrases rhythmic. In this mode, I'm just sitting still, and communicating what's coming from within. That's how creativity arises anyways. We see it in music, in painting. And I think one is a subset of the other. Awareness precedes the mode of creativity.

And because we are in the mode of creativity, in general any work done is of good quality. Even when work needs analysis say, we switch to the analytical mode, but because we were in the more relaxed mode of creativity before this, we are less tired, less stressed, more relaxed.

The last, but the not the least, thing I noted was that it was not possible to stay always in this mode. At some point you get engrossed in what you are doing, and obviously the Karmic clock starts ticking without us realizing. I'm sure the gurus always stay in this Mode of Awareness. The realized beings always free of Karma although always in the mode of service and activity. This is perhaps where practice will lead us..

The travails of home-search in Bangalore

Having moved recently to Bangalore, I've been searching for a home to settle in. And oh the price-jolt that I got! I thought my years of savings will get me a dream villa, but the fact is it can only buy me a 2 bhk, and that too upon compromise, if I want to immediately move in.

I've been on this painstaking search, most evenings and weekend days and nights. As reality of prices set it, I compromised from villa to 4bhk, from 4bhk to 3.5 and now 3 bhk. I've been led around by fresh-constuction agents. A very highly commendable indiahomes.com to the agents who want maximum return out of minimum effort, and the so many generally good ones in between. Through these agents or through direct interaction, I met a lot of flat owners also. And all of them, such nice people. An Infoscion, other IT people, and people whose professions I may not know. But all of them, very smart, polite and good people. All very friendly, all cooperative, patient to my questions and queries.

It's been hard work. Losing weekends just watching one apartment to another. Driving long distances to and fro for these. Falling ill, perhaps due to travel in the sun, and perhaps the smoke and dust. The mental taxing due to the plethora of options and confusions thereof. Bangalore is at the hub of construction. It was a perfect analogy of "water water everywhere, but not a sip to drink".

In the end, the most credit was to family, especially my father-in-law, who help me most in the final lap. I guess this was part-guilt as his adherence to Vastu without workarounds was the main cause of making this journey so long. But I guess in the end it might turn worth it.

Although the apartment I've currently shortlisted might most likely be a good investment, I'm not sure I'd be too happy living in it. I honestly hope I adjust and let go and be more accepting of what's arriving. And more importantly, I pray to the auspicious moments and Gods to bless the next steps most.

The magic of breath

I heard Sri Sri Ravi Sankar say in a talk recently that our breath reflects our emotion. So amazing is that observation, yet something that's so apparent to us. Yet, what is said next was more important and contextual. He said, so through our breath, we can take control of our emotions again. For example, we breathe heavily when angry. So if we become aware of this when angry, and choose to take a deep breath instead, our feeling of anger dissipates. Try it, definitely works! And actually, we already do it to take control of our anger, don't we? Just that we never really thought that this can be applied to other situations too, for our benefit.

I've heard Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev also reflect upon breath. He said nature hangs on a fine balance. All it takes for us to lose our life, is just a breath away. If we breathe out and don't breathe in, life is gone. He too advised for more awareness and towards meditation, to just be aware of our breath. He said that over time we'll begin seeing the clean cut between us and our life, through breath.

The whole Sudarshan Kriya from Sri Sri Ravi Sankar's Art of Living is about breath exercises. Yoga's essence I recently surmised from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev's teachings is about prepping up our jeevatma (life energy) to rise through the nadis passing by the chakras in the body and join the parmatman (universal energy), which really is what gives us moksha. Looking at it the other way, this might also explain why we are performing the asana better by just focusing on our breath and keeping the mind empty. The reason si really the other way round. The asana is meant for us to get control over our breath and activate the jeevatma to rise.

Indeed the mystery of the breath is profound. And at least I have found it very useful to be able to focus on it easier, to just realize how just one breath stands between human life and death.

Musings from the book 'Many Lives, Many Masters"

This is the true story of a famous Psychiatrist's experience with a patient whose therapy sessions led the Doctor to change his views on reincarnation. The author came to realize how blessed his life really was, how masters from other dimensions look over us all, how souls collaborate across lives and help each other out.

For the lay reader, the best part would be that death really is a beautiful and quick experience, not a turmoil as many of us perceive it to me. It also tells us that we don't really lose out on our loved ones. We keep meeting them across lives.

I had a couple of questions upon reading the book, which were answered in readings thereafter:

- Howcome the patient was able to say her previous life was (say) in 1800 BC. If she travelled to that era in hypnotisation, through her subconscious, how did she know she was in a pre-Christ era. The Doctor has explained elsewhere that come to think of it, she's communicating all of this in English. So there is a super-conscious that is communicating all this to us. That super-conscious calculates where it stands in the prior birth and is communicating to us. This for me was a convincing argument.

- Howcome each of the previous births was of a human. I heard in a recent audio hearing by Sri Sri Ravi Sankar, that once we take a human birth, we don't really go back to our previous karmic cycles of other animals. We simply keep repeating the human birth, until we realize moksha. This answered my other question.

Overall, reading this book really leaves you with a good feeling. That we are not really alone. And that we don't really leave people behind. We do meet them in afterlife. Life is a continuous channel.

The findings were consistent also with my learnings from Hinduism, and my own observations of how Nature is functioning through the single law of Karma.

Recommended reading.

Musings from the book "Sadhguru"

I'd never heard of Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev before my friend Vikas recommended some Youtube videos of his. And for the first time, I found a guru/yogi/mystic who could speak in intellectual terms so impressively. It was only later that I read and learnt that he hobnobs with the people on top; the ones who run businesses and governments. That he's been invited to the World Economic Forum. I read about the Isha foundation and that its headquarters is in Coimbatore, not far from Bangalore. Incidentally, a friend in Infosys also said he practices the yoga exercises taught by the Isha foundation and finds them useful.

Vikas also had lent me the book "Sadhguru", which was about Jaggi Vasudev's life. It was very impressive, and quite an honest and brutal account of Sadhguru's life. The author Arundhathi Subramaniam easily shifts between providing an factual, as heard, account, and clinically incisive analysis of Sadhguru's life and personality.

Some things I found very interesting in this book:

- Sadhguru is fond of snakes. That he could confidently catch them in his younger days. That he made good pocket money with it. And worse, that he had a snake farm in his house!

- Sadhguru is fond of fast driving. Be it motorcycles or cars. This is the facet that my (perhaps) judgemental mind finds disconcerting. A guru who still retains such fondness! Maybe he's just teaching us about the true nature of life; the spiritual and the material need not be different. Or maybe he's just a vividly confident person who has the gift of the gab! Likewise, his love for seafood, golf, good clothes, all challenge the usual image of a mystic.

- How the Dhyanalinga was consecrated. All the things said about how the chakras in the nadis (life energy streams within the spinal cord) of 3 people initially and later just Sadhguru and his disciple Bharathi were brought and woven together, and are now held on like a living energy force by the Dhyanalinga.

- The incident of his wife's mahasamadhi. While the mouna-guru's mahasamadhi is touching, this one again the "logical" mind finds hard to believe.

- The presence of disembodied beings around the ashram during the performance of practices for the Dhyanalinga.

- Sadhguru's memories and recounting of his past births. His justification of how he is here to fulfill the Dhyanalinga process

- About black tea curing the poisonous bite.

For sure though, Sadhguru has psychic capability as recounted by a lot of his disciples. He clearly has ready wit and impressive speaking skills.

I want to believe all that he says and has experienced, for I believe that is truly how life runs (energy chakras). I'd like to join the Isha yoga course some time.

Let's hope Sadhguru is here to guide as many souls he can. I'm grategul to God for such an opportunity, to learn from a master

Reincarnate

The flowers in the wind today, have flown once before
The rain drops fall down, for the water evaporates
I have been here once, I just don't recollect

I have been a cow before, a snake and a human perhaps
I have been the vegetable, the fruit and the stone perhaps
As matter moved from gross to subtle, I have stayed unchanged
This life is just the chakras, and the energy it holds

I must met have wife before, my son and I share bond eternal
My sister, well-wishers, they were all there, and so we share this love forever..
But ever wish if to be born that, I be my parents son again..