Der Hone Ke Baad

Raat tho thami, par der hone ke baad

Lafz tho ruke, par sheesha tootne ke baad

Ek Umr lag gayi samajhne ko

Ki Jeena jaane, par der hone ke baad

Haath tho thaama tha, muskurahat bhi chehki thi

Ki Insaniyat ubhar aayi thi, par der hone ke baad

Roshni ka tha intezaar, par suraj dekhna na gawara

Ki Raat hone par, kismat pe rona tha sawara

Ek ungli jo badaa detha, duniya thi haazir mutti thaamne

Par main hi na dekh paaya, ke mera waqt tha khadaa saamne

Haasil tho hua sab kuch, par der hone ke baad

Mother and Child

Child of Mine,

How did you know, just by my touch,

That I am yours, mother of yours

How come it happened, you quieted in hush

When in comfort, of only my hug

Or was it my surprise, that you were telling

That you are mine, baby of mine

If looking for miracles, just look at a birth

A life created, when there was none

Why is it, that you chose me

Why is it, that you smile at me

Why is it, your first word is Amma

Why is it, you first love me

Why is it, that I have your food

Why is it, my kiss always consoles

Why is it, I can put you to sleep

Are these questions, that answer themselves

Mother of mine, I always was you

First as a longing, waiting in you

Now as a child, belonging to you

Mother of mine, I am part of you

As moonlight ever, belongs to moon

Mother of mine, you chose me

You are this Bhumi, life-giver in nature

That Goddess on which, creation subsists

Mother of mine, I smile at you

You created me, and still are in awe

As if you choose, not to know your power

Mother of mine, my first word is you

Your name in veneration, is sacred of all

Purer than even, holy chant Om

Mother of mine, my first love is you

You chose to love, before you knew me

And know you will love me, whatever be

Mother of mine, you have my food

It is the prasad, only a God gives

Though you are the one, devoted to me

Mother of mine, your kiss always consoles

In that you tell me, all pain will go

And if you are there, I can bear all else

Mother of mine, you put me to sleep

Your heartbeat and voice, as when I was inside

Had taught me rhythm, brought me to life

Deep Sweet Meditation

In deep sweet meditation, the energy of prana

Only felt, in short unconscious breaths

The body steady, mind in peace

The world dancing by, but aham steady ease

In meditation realize, you were always one

Body can change, you are young and then aged

But eyes closed in depths, you still are the same

In touch do not be, to senses in body and mind

They all are external, to true self in life

Act in prayer, and let action be a prayer

Lose attachment to both, the action and the prayer

In deep sweet meditation, you see nothing yet all

You can watch yourself, from inside and the out

You can travel the universe, in distance and in time

And still come back to, your place behind the eye

In deep sweet meditation, you can feel what you want

Dive in cold water, or burn in blazing fire

Smell a fragrant flower, or touch a bird's nest

But still in end you come back, to sweet scent of self

One which no fragrance, yet as prana precious

Why did it Happen (Part 3)

"Perhaps it is I, who is holding him back". This is the first thought, that had taken them apart. And from that seed, a firm tree had now grown. Lakshmi was wise beyond her years. She knew a relationship needs both reason and emotion to nurture and grow. A relationship is built on neither independence, nor dependance. It has to be both ways, interdependant.

She had strength, wisdom and poise. Only her will, could weather this storm. Venkat was her first love, and love deeply she did. It had taken years, to come to these terms. But she would be selfish, to keep holding him back. And her purity in love, shone in the selfless fire of anguish.

To be true to self, she only had to look back. Through school and college, Venkat just did what she did. He had never made life-choices of his own. A whole life lay ahead. But just one lifetime, lay ahead. When he took his first job also as hers, she had known. A butterfly will not be born, till the cocoon is broken.

She had lived up to her dreams, happy, loved and successful. But he would know none, till life is done. That is, if they continued this way. She was sure as always, this was the right step. For no decision would she made, without due reflection. Venkat had said I'll marry you, but never I love you. Both were unsure, if he really knew love. This relationship was attachment, him dependant on her. And marriage an extension to that comfort zone.

Of the two, the sacrifice had been Lakshmi's. She'd thought it through, he'll struggle to accept it.  But then he'll move on, for he still hadn't known love, at least not yet. Perhaps he will, and for her. And also mature to realize, she had not meant goodbye...It was a risk, she stood to lose her love. But as any hopeless romantic sees it, his good was worth any cost..

A cold rain brought them back to senses. They both had been holding hands tight: but one in love, the other in plea. The grip loosened, as they walked back. But for the rain, they did not want to hurry back. For in the hearts they realized, this night is different. Tonight they slept, on separate beds.

The Gift

Get me moon, the child pointed

As a birthday, gift no less

Imagine my surprise, as I had too

And received a round, idly instead

Get me star, when child had cried

His mother rushed, to kitchen instead

Got him barfi, a star-shaped pretty

With a shiny, twinkling foil

Get me sun, when child would  insist

Give him laddu, is what I suggest

Make him open, that big round mouth

Stuff in laddu, golden and round

In the smallest things, the child finds mirth

Be it water, the light or dirt

Come play with me, parent of mine

For this was Life, he seems to remind

Why did it Happen (Part 2)

"Is there someone else" he blurted. She didn't reply. Never one to give in to hasty reactions.  He scanned her eyes, they too had no answer. They continued to walk..

Swaying trees conveyed the changing season. A misty wind, foretold the arrival of monsoon. It was time, perhaps time, to wash out all. Start with a clean yard, home, body and mind. "But can even floods, wash clean the heart??" another maddening pang. "I must be going insane" sighed Venkat.

Thoughts flew back in time, to high-school days. As adolescence bloomed, and innocence waned. He was her first love, but he, unsure. There was the thrill, of meeting in secret. The goosebumps, from the first touch. And then most special, that kiss one night as this. And the rest of it, that happened to follow..

Through school, college and first jobs, they had been together. In what's called live-in, they (seemed-to-have) comfortably settled. Abrupt and on-the-go, he had twice proposed to marry. Both times Lakshmi would always respond with a big smile, cuddle and a kiss, as if reassured. But never say yes. Though not as wise, he would surmise it only made sense. First time was the day he turned 21. The next time, the day he got his first job's offer letter. Both times perhaps, more a result of exultation, he reflected. But looking back now, he saw through why she never agreed. The intent to move on was there, but what was the reason...

Time had flown, they had survived. Bickering and quarrels, always ended in sorry. Lakshmi  ever, the calming, pragmatic influence. And Venkat, the blend of strength and sensitivity. Perhaps it was he, who needed her more..

That Look

That look of yours, I cannot forget

Playful oysters, with pearl-like tears

Eyes that could, hide an ocean in them

Eyes that would, convey anger and cheer

In another life, I may forget

But in this one not, that look of yours

Your pleasing smile, could not reach them

For they spoke the truth, that lips couldn't

And why we part, they knew as me

Though you would refuse, to reconcile

You then walked away, I thought it's done

But then you turned, and I saw it come

That piercing look, questioning why

A look that will haunt, till the day I die..

Why Did it Happen (Part 1)

For a minute he looked lost, deep in thought. His eyes were seeing, but he wasn't. One might say, he saw through her. And so perhaps, he was in shock.

Lakshmi had stopped by to tell Venkat she wants to move on. As if a harbinger of the hysteria that would be part of him for life, Venkat chuckled at her words. She stopped talking at once, and looked up at him. Few are the situations in life, when a response to laughter is fear. Once such was this, where words meant to hurt, get a reaction so unexpected. She needn't have been scared, she should've known him better. Or maybe this is why, they really weren't meant for each other..

The first thoughts that came soothing the numbness of the mind were in jest; and that's why his response. Thoughts remembering words, he'd told her many a time before "You know why we are together, our names should tell us why. We are a celestial pair, our marriage happened in the heaven". "But we are a celestial pair, But we are a celestial pair" the thought kept repeating, trying to tune of everything else. As if a stuck tape, or a child by-hearting. Was this a sign, of onsetting madness?

 Collecting himself together, he now saw the trepidation in her eyes. Venkat put her at ease, told her "Hey it's nothing, really I'm fine!" He had to get up, or she would notice his eyes welling up. "Oh come on, big boy! Get a hold of yourself" he coaxed himself inside. He walked towards the door, Lakshmi got up to follow suit. They stepped outside, to the moonlit night. They could hear the river water gurgling, yearning to meet her lover, the sea. On one such night as this, they had first kissed..

Respect Nature, or be done for..

In another world, where the stars don't shine

Would it be, as beautiful a night

On another land, without no soil

Would they, ever need feet

If there be no water, in another sea

Of what use be, the sense of touch

Our Earth is beautiful, we fail to see

Or would we pollute, the air and water

Green trees turning brown, and water black

Are we waiting, for mother's milk to turn sour

There was no man, when lived this nature

And none will be, if we defy her

O Mother of Ours, bless us all

Open our eyes, before the end comes near