Inner fire

A burning hunger, a hurting head
A glowing ember, in depth of eyes

I know not why my hands have sweat
When this heart is ablaze on fire

These muscles are so poised and tense
Awaiting just their master's command

The will is strong, the reflexes sharp
We are all now ready, to take on heat

A Hung Parliament

Having grown up seeing a little bit of Indian politics, and especially having heard so much from elders around, I, like, most of the population, especially the youth, have come to disdain politics. But it's nice to see and be able to predict that something is about to happen. Let me put it clearly why I think so.

The first generation of Indians after independence were more in thrill of having achieved it, and thought it their duty to dedicate their lives to make the lives of the coming generations happy. They took it as the noble task thrust upon their shoulders. Most politicians and bureaucrats of the era also were of the same mindset. In that synergy and passion we saw in each of us, it was easy to write a constitution that erred in placing a lot of trust on the nation's ruling and executive classes (the legislature and bureaucracy). The rights checks and balances to ensure speedy justice were missing, and the result was a few rotten tomatoes started to take advantage of the loopholes in the system. The general population immediately did notice. That's one thing will hold true in our country. We will continue to be well-read. If literate, the first thing we'll catch on to, is the news. If illiterate, the news channel or gossip somehow. As if the collective conscious is wary of being cheated and ruled again by foreign powers. But this population, along with the good among the leaders (a majority then) chose to ignore these rotten tomatoes as a distraction in the path of nation-building. Most politicians of that generation had to be freedom fighters, who had sacrificed family and risked lives in the path to freedom. So they were well-respected. Pointing fingers at the class as a whole was unthinkable, and quite deserving so. Let's call this the Nehruvian generation.

The next generation of population is where the politician's games really began. Firstly, it is this generation that accepted the daughter of the longest-lasting Prime Minister as the new Prime Minister! Either this population thought politics was too difficult and best left to the current rulers (remnants of the colonial mindset) or that every section of society has its role to play (the ingrained caste culture). And just like her father had, it was only natural that Indira Gandhi began giving a free rein to her son. A story that continues till today. At the time, Sanjay Gandhi became a de-facto member of the party and country leadership. It is well-documented that many in the cabinet began questioning his role. Slowly this trickled down to the population en masse, who began to get restless. While war jingoism kept them at check for some time, things were slowly starting to get out of control. That's when Emergency was imposed. And people began to be haunted by rulers worse than the British. That the Emergency was imposed so well for so long, shows how well by this time party and government control had been entrenched in a select few who formed a coterie of yes-men. Proof is in the pudding. Even after losing the elections, Indira continued to be the party chief, the next PM candidate, and by a tinge of clever marketing (Mother India slogans), the next PM. Alas! That's where we as a country should've realized how badly we are destined to doom. It is in this generation really that the seeds of corruption flourished. Once power realizes that it is unquestionable, there is no other easier route to take than corruption. This is the generation when corruption started seeping into the bureaucracy and the police force. The economic class-divide in population was created in this generation. I squarely blame this generation of the population as the reason why corruption is rooted as an endemic virus in our society. The coup-d'etat this generation laid on us was to make Rajiv Gandhi the PM. Let's call this period the Indira generation.

Then came our generation that has lived through the Rajiv-Sonia generation. Despite all the hard-work, we found ourselves against the grindstone, and witnessed that those who got were rising to the top on their own, were those who at some time had circumvented the laws. Bounded by license raj and socialist regulations, we found ourselves falling into the financial crisis hell-hole. It turned out to be a blessing, actually a salvation in disguise. Liberalization flourished our economy and our lives. It gave us a chance to rid ourselves of not just the pre-dated economic policies, but the political class as well. But then what do we do? We let the Congress get away with bringing back Sonia as their chief. Why but why, but because the majority of population was too poor. Mostly hungry and just finding a means to earn their day's meal, they didn't have the time to focus on politics or the need for politicians. A simple message had to be given to retain power. And what better than beat the same drum as the one that made Rajiv-a totally inexperienced person in public service- the PM of this great nation. The drum of sacrifice of course. Indira had died for the country, and so had Rajiv! This cut was made by the double-edged sword of us, the urban population starting to despise politics and focus on improving our economic situation, and the non-chalant rural population struggling to stay relevant, even alive. Even a trickle, a false or short-term promise was enough to win the rural vote. The society around them seemed to have improved, so why not their lot. And that's how corruption got to be a monster. When the politicians found that this works! There were the rich and the riches to be made in the booming economy so the bureaucrats too toed the line.

But it's heartening to see that the next generation is not willing to be fooled. The luxury they have is the foundation of a good economy this generation has laid for them. It is this generation that came out to the streets in support of Lokpal. Anna Hazare, the last surviving Gandhian icon from 2 generations before ours, could never get this kind of support from our generation, as the next-gen has provided. We were just too busy building the economy, and I guess, are still warped in that, even while we have the chance to contribute. This next-gen has the confidence that things will be well economically, and they have the hunger to make change in politics, in the ruling class. Rahul Gandhi will never get it laid on a platter as Rajiv did. Good thing is Rahul has realized that, and not yet staked claim for the PM's post. Development without Corruption has been the mantra of the current generation and the leaders emerging are starting to chant this mantra to ours and the next-gen of young voters. We are on the right track, but just not there yet.

Wiser from their past follies, the rural have started rising, but yet not a clinching majority. After all, little can take priority over one's hunger. And the urban want to play a part, not let others decide their fate. And I salute this spirit. This is the spirit that India needs to take it forward.

India is at a crucial juncture in its political history. The next elections will show how much we are at distress within ourselves. The old not wanting to let go, and we not yet fully trustful of the new. As has been its fate for the most part since independence, so could it be after these next elections..A Hung Parliament!

Different Indian cities as hubs

There is no clear communication why cities in our country India are planned or lack planning the way they are being shaped right now. Why is it that the finance and movie industry are both in Mumbai. And now IT companies are also jostling for space and importing engineers in this already crowded city. Already the infrastructure was insufficient in the city. Most people still travel in packed trains. Instead of trying to make things better, lack of planning and letting things pan out by default is only putting more strain on scarce resources. This in turn is only making life more difficult for the ordinary population.

Due to lack of government planning and enablers, businesses will continue to invest in locations where at least there is some infrastructure. Plus what is more ideal for profit making than a packed market, both in terms of per-capita and head-count. So the businesses really don't care. They too have to bear the brunt of initial high-cost of capital investment but profits are huge to the ready market in close quarters.

Those who really pay the price are their consumers, us the general population. Not just in terms of a difficult, hectic lifestyle but also in terms of health. These include pollution and the increased stresses that crowded areas beget, not only in terms of civic facilities (space, water, air quality, crime, infrastructure) but also in economic terms (cost of living) and in terms of general well being (lack of time, quality of relationships, increased  competition, loss of balance with nature).

For a well populated country like India, ad-hoc city development is neither binding nor appealing. Planned city model is the model to go for. Firstly, in order to ease the strain on the city, the capital of the state Maharashtra should be moved into an interior location. Moving government, especially politicians is economically the path of least resistance, because legislature if it wishes to, can make money readily available. Political will as usual is another story. The incentive for politicians is improvement of government and their personal security, always difficult in a hub like Mumbai. The good for people is economic development of the area chosen including more jobs with direct government investment. The good for Mumbai is reduction of the concerned population and easing up on infrastructure.

The next industry to be targeted is the film industry. With a single sop of developing a twice as grand film-city in the interior of the country, say Madhya Pradesh, we should be able to attract gradual relocation. Having enough money and known to enjoy luxurious lifestyles, film celebrities and the industry as a whole are a manageable bunch for relocation, given the right carrots.
Mumbai is currently the financial hub and I think should continue to be so. Among other reasons the financial vein of any country needs to be given the it's easy-flowing path. If we were to put it in an idealistic sense though, every coastal region should have been exclusively made industrial hubs if anything, and not the interior parts of the country. Manufacturing invariably causes pollution, which instead of kept circulating in the interiors of the country, is best driven off by the wide expanses of the oceans. Of course, this holds true as long as fossil fuels and harmful industrial wastage aren't well taken care of.

While Mumbai is closest to heart as I was born and raised there, I'm sure every city likewise has it's strengths which we must balance for a good quality of life for the rest of the country. Bangalore, for example, like Mumbai has captured the brand imagination across the world of being the Silicon Valley of India, its IT hub. So we should focus IT out here and in adjoining cities. Every metro needs to carve its unique identity in the eyes of the world, and focus its strengths in those specific directions, than arbitrary, evidently chaotic development that we see today, which is crushing infrastructure and quality of life. For example Chennai can be the country's port city, Hyderabad the Biotech city, and Chandigarh Pharma.
This level of focus will also reduce the necessity of having each location marked as a city. We will be able to maintain the rural, agro-community once it is spared by these demands of urbanisation. Any migration, if necessary to an urban location, need not be the long-dreary life writh with sacrifices as it is today.

I believe it is this focus or balanced development for all areas of the country that can make it reachable for the ordinary Indian to get out of the clutches of poverty.

A Horror Story!

I landed at this wedding or wedding-reception, I am not sure which. It was of my college batchmate Jignesh. I was happy to be invited and had taken many family member - I remember a lot of women - and at least one close friend Ram along. It's here the strange event first started. The attender at the entrance asked for the invitation card, to confirm my name was among those invited. I asked one of those in our group for the card, and it was soiled! Someone began telling some excuse, but it didn't matter...my name was not visible on it. Blotchy green where it was meant to be! The attendant, perhaps overzealous, was not willing to take from our attire that we couldn't well be free-loafers.

A minor argument ensued. I was insisting I knew Jignesh; he was my college batchmate and if the attender were to take me to him, Jignesh'll recognize me. The attender stood his ground, while the ladies in our group began to lose patience and started murmuring. Frustrated, I just pushed my way into the marriage hall, the attender trying to hold me back. The hall was not filling yet. We seemed likely to be one of the first to arrive. Many of the chairs still lay folded. I rushed towards the stage where I noticed someone seated surrounded by some people. The face was not visible but it was clear that'd be the groom. As I approached near calling out to Jignesh, lo and behold! It turns to be Suhas, not Jignesh there! How can that be? Now, Suhas too was a college class mate, but he looks at me as if unable to recognize me. I tell him my name but that doesn't seem to help. Somewhat shocked, I start to walk back, this time the attender just keeping close to me. Did I mix up whose wedding I was attending? Or have I mixed up the names in memory. I still can swear I remember the face, it was Suhas not Jignesh. But I could've sworn the invitation card had Jignesh's name on it. And I think I even saw Jignesh's name at the entrance. How could it then be Suhas at the groom's chair? And why didn't he recognize me?

Half-way on the way back towards the entrance, I hear some loud commotion coming from the entrance. I and the attender rush, only to see the bride laying in blood. The marriage had been doomed!! And that's when I saw Her-Charu- for the first time! An angelic, voluptuous beauty. Dressed in light green top and a skirt, Her beauty was a distraction to the situation at hand. She was sitting beside the bride, with an intense expression. But somehow that expression didn't look shocked or scared to me, like that of the other ladies around. Had this lady killed the bride, no one was sure. And yet, the bride seemed to have been gutted by a knife, that was nowhere to be seen.

Ram said we'd had enough, it was time to leave. And so we did. It's one thing to be confused as in a dream, but another to see death in front of your eyes. And I kept feeling sorry for Suhas/Jignesh (in that frame of mind, I didn't cross-check what name was really written at the entrance).Things hadn't gone well that day, for really anyone.

******************

I do not know when, I met Her again. But the next I remember is meeting her in green fields. She was a tanned beauty, with glowing skin like former Bollywood heroine Smita Patil. I guess I remember this meeting, for it was the turning point. These fields I was meeting her at was next to the hill where her home was located. An idyll location, I always thought, up a hill, with a beautiful view of green and sun. But I never had visited her home yet. Apparently, after this encounter, while I was walking back to the highway, a friend who was driving past, saw me walking. I'd told him this is where Charu lived so he knew why I was there, and decided to just drive by. Apparently, upon driving a little further, he glanced up the hill and noticed Charu walking into her home. But then he claims a strange thing happened. When she closed the door, all the curtains, at least all the ones visible to him, seemed to push at the glass windows. An engineer himself, he found this very strange. If the wind was really causing this, then this should've happened when the door was open, and not quite some time after the door was closed. It was as if matter had converted to a force inside...

*****************

I must have visited a hypnotist, or friends might have taken me to a psychologist to forget Charu, for I don't remember how I took it, or what sequence of events occurred before that final day...

I remember going into Charu's home without her permission. She'd never wanted me to come there. Maybe I harbored an ill-omen, for I had taken my friends along, whom I asked to wait half-way on the way up to the hill. There was lush green grass and they could rest, although they preferred to stay alert. Some friends who were girls were also with us. Maybe they thought there could be a fight, and they would be helpful consoling her thereafter.

I went inside to confront Her. While I don't remember what was the original reasons for the confrontation, I remember I had bigger reason when I opened the door. There was no furniture in the house. It was this huge, empty hall with glass panes, curtains partly covering the view outside. Charu seemed to walk in from the another room. She must have got upset. I equally must have asking her what is all this. Whose house is this, and why is it empty. I must have cast all the doubts my friends had, I don't really remember the conversation or quarrel, because of the impact of events thereafter in my mind.

She got very very mad. Surprisingly not at me, but my friends. Upon learning they were outside, she ran out, with nothing less than a huge kitchen knife in hand. And what happened thereafter I don't want to recount. I remember watching helplessly, in shock, and just plunking down to the ground in disbelief. Here was Charu, mad in expression, slashing and killing, there was blood all around. She somehow seemed to be very strong, for none of the guys were able to hold her back or control her. She was easily overpowering and throwing them around.

I got to my senses, something had to be done. Something had snapped, and first thing was she'd to be controlled. But how? She seemed just too strong. Now that engineer-friend who was well-read about the psychic forces, and who'd convinced me that the blasting curtains didn't seem right, had also told me that sometimes when psychic force takes over, humans are able to do things which are normally physically impossible. So I knew running towards her would only get myself killed. Yet, something had to be done, but what, and how...

And that's when I realized. There was something strange about this madness in Charu. She was running after, and hurting, only the women among my friends. What, really? Yes that's what I was seeing. The guys were being thrown away. For some reason, she was not hurting any of the men. I had to take my chances. At least my life is perhaps not at risk, and some lives could be saved. I ran towards Her. She heard the running footsteps, and turned around. Our eyes met. She was breathing heavily, her face sweaty. But the eyes had that same intense look. Not one of fear, but that of a hunter, a mix of alertness, calmness and intensity. Seeing it was me perhaps, she didn't attack me. And seemed to calm down. But I didn't see it then. I was running tense towards her, not knowing what to expect. So the first thing I did upon reaching close, was to snatch the knife from her hands, which she didn't seem to resist, and plunge it in her stomach!!

Her expression never changed, tired sweating face and intense, and this time reddening eyes. She fell to the ground. Actually, I don't remember anything after that.

*************

Today as I sit here writing, trying to piece together the happenings, I think I can explain what was happening. But still not the when, or the why. Charu was crazily in love with me. Way before I had even seen her. At the wedding hall, because of perhaps the huge group with me, she thought it was I who was getting married. And anyways, didn't want to take chances. She just killed the bride-to-be. That last time we argued, she thought the girls among my friends are trying to break us up, take me away from her. And so in her madness she went about attacking them. Well, at least these seem to be the reasonable explanations.

But there is one last thing that continues to confound me. My friends refuse to talk about Her. Like I said, I must've been taken through some psychotherapy or I might have agreed to hypnotism at the time, to forget this entire episode. I don't remember any of my friends missing, or maybe even that was taken care of by the mind-treatment.
But much more crucially, no one wants to confirm that she is dead. Now why is that. Wouldn't it be more relieving to me, and to them, to readily assure me of that? That they refuse to confirm makes me think, that somewhere, most probably in some mental hospital, she's alive, and waiting, to be with me...

My love I miss you very much

Is nature vicious our life is such
My love I miss you very much

Have not seen you in a month so long
Don't know how to live along

My time is bad or test of God
I know not and I wait forlorn

The days I count and on lonely nights
I sob to console pain in heart

Shutting down Government...while laying seeds of a Backlash

Frustrating as it is with the US government shutdown since October 1 that nobody wants, there's nothing better to do than retrospect what has caused this fiasco.
Seems like the opposition Republican party is being held hostage by the conservative right to take a hardline stand. And the party seems to be willing to even commit harakiri to appease this bloc, rather than negotiate a compromise with the ruling Democrat party.
A situation like this happens when you are in the defensive. I believe the loss by that huge a margin in the Presidential election is directly responsible for this. The Republicans realize that they are being perceived as out-of-touch by the majority of Americans. There is a PR exercise being carried out to improve the party's overall image in their weakest areas, the Latino and African-American population. This is primarily being done by propping up leaders from those races in their own party-structure. But while those measures will take time, they want to at least hold-on to their voting base.
Obviously, this is where the conservatives come in. This group launched the Tea-Party some years back with the very intent to not yield or compromise, as the two parties have traditionally been. And the Tea Party's candidates began winning primaries and candidatures in the regions with a conservative leaning, sometimes even beating the party's preferred nominee.
What this extreme fails to realize is that a failure to compromise is not in the bigger interest of the party or the country. The conservatives need to learn that if they are to really be able to exert influence at the national stage, they should be willing to reach across the aisle. Either that, or the Republican establishment should be willing to risk a short term loss of support among extreme conservatives, with the bigger goal in sight (Presidential, Senate victories).
On the ground, I've seen how the shutdown has disappointed people across the aisle alike. The general talk among supporters of both parties is "Everybody knows what's happening", and the blame for the shutdown being squarely placed on the Republicans. This generation is more networked, and less easily influenced by party-leader talk. There seems to be a clear consensus that the Republicans were wrong in shutting down government because they did not like one law. If they truly believe in democracy, they should have let the issue settle after the mandate of repealing Affordable Healthcare failed during the Presidential elections.
Sooner or later otherwise, there will be a bigger backlash which will see the party wiped out of both houses, which is not in the interest of the party or the country. The hardline approach is the exact opposite of what should have been taken, during this crisis of lack of popularity.
The vast majority agree with the need for fiscal tightening, but going after the Affordable Health Care is conveying the wrong message.
The Democrat marketing machine made the mistake of calling this law "Obamacare". If the law were only touted with its actual name "Affordable Health Care" law, there would have been more acceptance. The common masses, from either party, could have been swayed by the appeal in the name itself.

An Elusive Love

O Beautiful woman, why didn't you come
In yearn for you, I lay wasted in dirt
In search of you, I lost out all trail
In your magical mist, even blindness is bliss

Why do you play, you hide and you tease me
Don't you see I, who hopes you will seek me
Not master of heaven, or earth but am brazen
This lover of yours, has nothing that will faze him

In jungle of life, with every twist of the time
At each trip and fall, you will reach out for my hand
My absence will remind, of this crazed lover's touch
I hope you will return, before I have to bite dust

Mindless violence

There was violence, in the train as on streets
People being killed, with reason as creed
I could not bear it, I put him at ease
At the right moment, pushed him away to reprieve

I got off the train, I have had enough
Madness in mob, no way to arrest
Someone followed, asking why the unease
I said my God, waits where there is peace

Ghosts of a love from past

She came to me, in sleep distressed
Comforted, took care of me to rest
She fed the same meal, I very much loved
She was no mirage, but the person I love

I lay in thought, my eyes awake
The night was clear, my mind at stress
She was a paramour, from another birth
Yet a soul that shone, my path with light

Tears dripped, my eyes had welled
So I was guided, not a fool in jest
The server said sorry, for the food I saw
I said no, it has her reflection aglow

The future of the wild

As the scope gets larger, with the human population exploding, I sometimes wonder, of the space left for wildlife. Today we see how the need for "jobs", and the need for more of everything, justifies destroying just about everything that existed in this planet for centuries. With every passing generation, the attachment to nature is less, which makes this exploitation of resources easier by rulers and profiteers.

Until today we have seen, some land areas vacated, national parks and forest preserve parks "restored" to give some wild their own space. But can it really be their own, when the air they breathe and the water they drink cannot possibly avoid being mixed by polluted chemicals from industrial waste? How far can you take them, and us - not yet out of this world - to escape these effects. It's better than the alternative, of animals not having a home at all, very true! But we are lying to ourselves if we think this isn't where they are heading.

But then, do we realize that the pollution, the destruction of forest-land, has a cost that would be borne by the generations after us? The very human life to sustain which we justify this destruction. What is the very purpose of civilization? How is economic growth measured at the cost of natural resources? Who really gave us ownership of these resources, and especially the non-human life around us?

We humans have evolved to our current forms through millions of years of changes. Every "creature" around us, has contributed to this evolution. In that sense, we owe them this consciousness, our evolution to our present forms where we are aware of "self". This is, even if you don't want to deal with the metaphysical, spiritual sense that the every living being in this planet has the same soul as ours, and equally considers it home as we do. Who, then, wrested upon us the authority to do what we please with the natural resources belonging to this Earth. We, ourselves? How can that be fair? How do we pay back what is due to those who originally inherited the Earth, and continue to live along with us?

Make no mistake, I realize that in our natural habitat (the forests), we were exposed to most unpredictable means of survival. "I think, and therefore I am" is very much apt. It is incredible how far we have come. But take a step back to realize, that in the pursuit of a safe place to continue our existence, we have tried to redefine how the world should be, through cultivation and village-life first, and the urban/concrete mix now.

Have we stopped to think and check, if we have really gone farther than optimum, to give meaning to our life? If every step forward now, is at the price of our "home", this Earth? If not, what is the end point, before we all can agree that further use (I call exploitation) of nature is to the net-detriment of the future generations, of human and non-human life? And in this "home" divided by man-made nation-states, how can we come together to this agreement, and to go back and restore what is already damaged? And will we ever, our minds blurred and trust lost, in judging each other through the lens of race, religion, patriotism, greed. How many more generations have to pass, before we realize what really matters?

To be pragmatic, the baseline is the parameters by which we define economic growth. For everyone understands that language. A price needs to be tagged for each natural resource, with due ownership distributed on all life upon land, water and sky. An honest measure of the effect, of using that resource, is needed. A fair assessment as this, in my view, will make it not worth the price to loot forest and land, might build a few cars less for spending more to create a balance in nature. This is not against science, but a re-evaluation of purpose. For example, it would prioritize inhabiting the moon or Mars over pointless defense budgets.

For sure, change cannot come, but in small steps. But will we ever start, and how?

A Simple Village Life

Behind this world so complex, lies a simple village life
It metaphors our choices, for glitter over stars

There is the option, to watch a calm and flowing river
To swim and bathe in glee, in a serene backyard pond
Yet we have turned away, with an endless aim in sight
Oh foolish one this time, is one that will not turn behind

The blazing sun bears witness, to the cowherd's melodious flute
And to cooling embers of moonlight, sing insects a different tune
Oh run away from here, this jarring deafening noise
To where the sun does rise, to chants of Gayathri mantras

Know No Fear

Where is that mind, held fearless and high
It now hides in fear, afraid to be seen

Do you remember, the beauty of rivers and mountains
They are thus with, their freedom of expression

Don't attach self to greed, it is just not your creed

Where fate rules alike, faith is always alive

Whatever happens will happen, no matter what you do

So just head-on with courage, and fear only fear

The senses do nothing, as self-inquiry does

For long there is pursuit, an endless cycle, for sense-pleasures. These include the sight, the smell, the taste, the touch, and the sound of something that pleases. And many of these are noteworthy, nay make life more worthwhile, more appreciative. But all these mean nothing, if one does not interpret. If one does not step back and introspect.

What gain is it, if one watches film after film, never stopping in between, snatching the time out of one's precious life. Film, like most forms of sense pleasures, are meaningless if one does not learn from it. Film is the perfect medium to give you a view of the world, the vast space which one cannot expect to cover and experience, in one life. But then, not matter how much of film one watches, one cannot expect to get exposed to all. What matters is to get the essence.

Just as reading all the books in the library are unnecessary when the main point has been conveyed, been absorbed.

I was watching this beautiful Bengali movie titled "Agantuk", where one particular dialogue struck me. When Dhritiman Chatterjee's character asks "The open sexuality, the cannibalism that you see among tribals, isn't that uncivilized", Utpal Dutt's character responds sarcastically "No it is barbaric, what is civilized is to wipe out an entire village with the single press on the button of an atom bomb. Uncivilized is where there is an oath taken to avoid the misuse of weapons". The character finds that civilization confusing where there are pillar-like skyscrapers, yet humans pulling rickshaws, a hint towards human exploitation.
Actually today's topic came from this very film. The character had spent a lifetime among tribals and came back to urban life, with his eyes forever open. His views clear and precise as only self-inquiry can achieve.

One must meditate each day, read each day, listen to the soothing rhythm of music, watch different media, but not forget the goal of it all, to instrospect after each, understand, love and appreciate, not necessarily in words. One must find meaning, to one's own, unique life, and devote himself or herself to fulfill that purpose. The senses have played their part then, self-inquiry has reached it's goal then...

Your own style

Continue to play in your own style
You are your own life
You are your unique style

Your style need not be else's
Your style need not agree with all

It is not you, but you were chosen
To express this range of the creator's ways
Your truth to your self, the only true style

My Child My Joy

What other joy is needed, when you are with me

It is blissful indeed, when I see you sleep

My child your strength, moves human will

Your innocent ways, drives away all ills

Watching you always, breakes a smile
Kissing your soft cheeks, pleasure I feel

Love, Joy and Happiness, words I don't mind

Because you have given me, the feeling of Divine

Of Mistakes Past

In life you pay for mistakes past, those past in this birth and last

I remember times, in a deep dark pit,

When I and you scratched words and kissed

I get dreams, of this life not, but lo behold of war-torn Europe

And someone reminded, of promises broken

May be courage, not lack of love then

That your wait, got alone and barren

There were lives lost, nobody thinks often

For true, it is very, hard to fathom

But each life had, a story told seldom

Stories that must complete, in next births for them

No Answer Enough

Why does my heart hurt, why is mind paining
The pain should have ended, the thorn has been pulled now
Is it so because, the wound is still bleeding?

Why did it happen, is one lifetime worth it
Why did God deceive, on the one thing I asked Him

If connecting dots, will give me an answer
Will that answer come with, the lost time and chances

A Child passes away and laws of nature beyond our understanding

This whole week, and perhaps for a long time to come, this tragic happening about a young boy passing away, will continue to be in my mind. I pray for his soul and for his family, and pray there is peace and solace everywhere.

The toddler Logan passed away a couple of days after being best man to his parents' wedding. A life we see in pictures, now no longer is around.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/497364/20130807/logan-stevenson-dying-best-man-christine-swidorsky.htm

We can never ever really feel, or console or compensate the loss of his parents.

And again, that gnawing question, why. How can the laws of nature be like this? And why does a child have to pay the price.

When we talk freedom, liberty - concepts I obviously stand for also - is there anything truly being "free". Aren't we all governed, dare say controlled, by forces, by laws of nature, by our very existence as humans on this planet.

I know there are philosophical answers to philosophical questions, but nothing will convince me that it's at least unjust where children pay the price.

May those forces, those Gods listen, that laws for humans, please be humane.
That some laws do, really need exceptions.

Lal and Charisma

As is usual with me, just yesterday I finished watching the Malayalam movie "Summer in Bethlehem". This is after about a week since I started it..phew. Now one of the things I'd heard about the movie was the cameo by Mohanlal. And I continued to watch the movie, there was no sign of the cameo. Being a movie of the musical-comedy-romance genre, I'd perhaps expected a funny entrance among kids. But with the entry of a gloomy Manju Warrier character should have made me guess. It was an intense role, and boy, was it "intense"!

It is just one scene of 9.5 mins, and rightly built up to be the climax of the movie. And a scene with many characters sharing the scene with Mohanlal: the jailer, Suresh Gopi and Manju Warrier. But the performance in those few minutes really underlined why he is one of the greatest actors in this country, of this generation. In entry itself the character shows spark (the background music also helped). The bearded ascetic appearance belies the mood that would be, of this scene. Lal eases the tension, and lives it up too. When he speaks of how by killing an evil industrialist, he really killed a whole family including innocent children, your eyes well up with his. When he just after says how he realized how communist "revolutionaries" miss the point that what you need to fix is the system, not the people, you can feel the searing passion. When he hurries from Manju Warrier to Suresh Gopi begging him to put the thali, the hurry is expressed in action and expression. Subtle, but only if you miss. Pure amazing otherwise!

I can't remember an even better cameo in any film, at least till now, even 2 days after I finished the film. Some people have it, what they call charisma. They are born with a talent. And when they make what they love their life's work, you can see the rhythm. Mohanlal, the actor, is one such. 

I have known and am willing to accept that Mohanlal the human may have deficiencies. But to expect him to be perfect will be like stifling him. It'll only kill the creativity within the artist. I've always said, there's no need to be a fan of any person, just his good parts. In this case, his acting talent.

Apparently all his scenes are spontaneously performed. And that, like the other great actor Amitabh, Mohanlal is a nervous wreck before his scene. But that's until the camera starts rolling and the sheer magic begins. Just sit back, enjoy and celebrate the performance.

Ironically perhaps, people might have walked out the movie theater equally or more remembering Mohanlal's cameo than the rest of its content. But then, Gods do take preference!

A Beautiful Day

When I opened my eyes, to the first morning sunlight
I said what a day, what a bright beautiful day

When I went running, beside freshly bloomed flowers
The fragrance that I breathe in, made even oxygen dear

The river that I drank from, as the afternoon parched
I could swear it served, not water but pure nectar

As the evening breeze gusted, to orange-crimson skies
It freed me off all tiredness, it made me fresh again

The darkness now has gathered, and crickets chant to moon
In her glowing embers I now rest, I sleep I meditate