I thought about you

The day I first saw you, I thought about you
The day I first talked to you, I thought about you
The day we ran together, hoping to catch up with time
As our laughter echoed, we looked into our eyes
My laughter still-stopped, for I thought about you

The day we were sad, you had tears in your eyes
My dear, I could only, think about you
The day we first kissed, embraced in love
How could, I think of, anything but you

The day you left me, bitter and cold
The day I turned, stone-hearted and bold
That day I wished not, but I thought about you

The day this loser, drew first blood
When beauty and lust, slept on his bed
That day I needn't have, but I thought about you

Success and glory, respect and fame,
Money in excess, Vanity insane,
Paid many a visit, they now had a name
All through this and beyond, I know not why
I always I always, thought about you

After every victory had seen, Every failure tested
When I lay on my deathbed, I finally rested
I happened to realize, I never really won
For that day I lost, when I thought about you

Reproach

I shall keep this distance, I shall stay away
I shall not get closer, lead my heart astray

If I be cold, well I readily accept
If I be rude, well I care much less
For my cold heart keeps me breathing
And my rude tongue, me aloof
Both had failed to realize
So much you could do

My heart in now in shatters
My mind in blur and daze
Let not my demeanour befool you
My life is not in place

I still do cherish my past
And still do treasure my dreams
But I still do not have you
When today is all that means

Fursath Ke Din

Beautiful is this place, where I stay
Birds in serene flight, the cows that graze
Mountains, green grass, sky of blue pale

Search a new meaning to life, I walk and stare
But the smell of wet grass, makes me free of care

Perhaps the secret lies, in using this moment to live
For the morrow might be that day, does not this sunshine give

Beautiful Death

Had a tiff with a friend today and I had this energy to channelize..And tht's how this was created (feel at peace now)..

In that bitter dawn of the frozen winter night
Over blistered footsteps and agonies of breath
My heart held light, it still had hope
I could feel the nectar oozing, that on painful pierce of love
And it gave me strength, like never lived before

Remembering the ecstasy, of the days gone by
Sitting next to me, you would hum, sometimes sing
Words that I forget, but the sound
Even now, surfs through my blood
When I would want nothing, but the moment stay still
It gave me warmth, a thousand summers wouldn't

And then a sight, my eyes had yearned for
Was it the first sunray or your luster that broke through
That a well long dry, now overflew
Bruised lips had a smile, even as you blurred out of sight
I earned a death, that washed every birth off my sins

The Law Of Karma - Views and Queries

The Law of Karma gives perfect reasoninng to all that happens in this universe - if that is the word that describes the limitless existence around us. We see the same cycle repeating around us - good intentions somehow evocating a similar response. The same phenomena we are unable to explain - what is the fault of THAT baby who's born with congenital defects. Health-conscious people contracting diseases. A pedestrian losing his life due to rash driving. Or, taking an even more commonplace case one making a mistake he normally wouldn't. When John Nash was asked what led the greatest mathematician of the first half of this century to believe that extraterrestrials were contacting them, he simply replied " I believed them because they came to my mind the same way my mathematical ideas did". Would you then blame him for having believed it?
There is only one law that explains all this, that governs Nature(this term does not stand for only the trees and animals; it encompasses EVERYTHING within and outside). THE LAW OF KARMA. Put in the simplest words in Christianity is as "As you sow, so you reap". But having tremendous depth and impact in it's manifestations.
Every thought of ours also has an effect.
As against the general belief that the law of Karma makes us a creature of our circumstances, the fact is that it brings in the individual the awareness that he, by his present deeds, controls his future. He is very much responsible,in some way, for everything that has, is and will happen concerning him. What we call 'being wronged' is actually a result of our own Karma. For that matter, any result is a function of various Karmas-related or unrelated. This is why the Gita simply asks us to stop predicting or expecting the timing and nature of results.
Are circumstances are not in control at present - though we too, in some way, from some era, are responsible for the way they are today - what is, is our attitude to it, our response to it. When in pain, when hurt, we suffer; a range of emotions rise within us. This very surge has set the chain for the future results. What we need to do rather is to simply take ourselves back to equilibrium first. Meditate till at peace. What we objectively put as "Calm down, keep cool". Realise that NEVER is it the other person's fault, it's our own Karma. He is only the medium. And there is nothing called LUCK. Stay in peace. And now go ahead. No deed by itself is right or wrong. The attitude of the mind, the Karma, leads to the result. The Indian Constitution and judiciary beautifully seems to realise this. A murder in self-defence is not punished. Capital punishment is given with utmost restraint. Any crime is punished by only snatching freedom, the best we can do to do both - keep society free from chaos and give time to the criminal to realise his mistakes. The deed we do now with the attitude we now have, this seed we now sow and the way we do it, will definitely reap the corresponding fruit tomorrow. This is the root of Gandhiji's "The end should not justify the means", Christianity's "Faith can move mountains" or even Stephen Covey's "The best solutions in life are Win-Win".
But then, won't our response, at least to some extent, be a function of our Karmic patterns, our individual set of experiences, which in turn could continue the downward slide while the aim should be to spiral things upwards till we reach the stage where we can(and spontaneously will) break loose. Perhaps this is why the need for a Guru, a person who from his higher can foresee us and set us on the right path. Stress also is laid on surrendering to the guru who WE REALISE must lead us. But then, won't this choice too be a result of our own inherent vasanas. For we discount the plane at which our guide is. Perhaps our choice would be blurred enough to choose someone only high enough for our convenience, not our good.
Maybe this is why gurus at the highest planes like Gautama Buddha and Mahavira Jaina felt the need to lay down a set of principles for right living. But then, was this what was wanted by the guru at the highest plane, Krishna - the one who rendered the Gita. He even goes to specify four paths to moksha thus laying the onus not on the deeds but rather the intention. Or were his teachings being so manipulated that some spoken principles had to come about. We don't know, but from the number of followers Lord Buddha and Lord Mahavira had, it might seem so.
This now leads us to the question "What then is the purpose behind creation? If every action has an effect, what was meant to be the final result of creation?" Swami Vivekananda put it aptly in the World Conference of religions that the Hindu will not hide his ignorance. He will simply say 'I don't know'. Even Lord Krishna never revealed with what motive was creation begun. Why was the cycle begun in the first place. Perhaps we needn't know or aren't supposed. Just the way Einstein and Stephen Hawking felt when researching the orgin the, scope, nature and secrets of the universe. Which even led Einstein to comment "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him".
But many are the secrets that lie buried, leading a life in such circumstances is like coding without knowing the Functional Specifications. Yes, we have been given(if we look at it so) the Coding Standards though. Life changes so much in a hundred years, how can we comprehend how different it would have been thousands of years ago.
A premium is laid on chastity by the spiritual heads of various religions. So is the result of creation meant to be the end of it? Is that what bought to an end the various yugas...
There is another doubt, who gives all these lessons to a child. If he happens to be in bad circumstances due to his past birth's karmas, then wouldn't he continue to add to them - dependant and easily malleable that he is during his childhood - under such circumstances. Who is to teach him to master self to one day be able to break the bondage. IS this why the gurukul system came into being? Why then has it ended? Is it because it failed to live up to it's purpose? And why so? Is it because Mother Nature wanted her child to live in the circumstances he was responsible for....
--03-Nov-2003

Why do creative people need intoxicants?

A thing one should admit and accept, life is not bliss. There can only be moments of bliss. Man's life is not destined for too much of it. Be happy with the ones life gifts you with.
Everything else in life needs to be acted upon. Be it organizing the daily needs, your daily job or even loving. There will always be tons of paperwork, cleaning the house, the groceries, bank, repairs and insurance to do. Drudgery. It is part of life and one must accept it. It will occupy a significant portion of your life whether you like it or not.
You need a steady income. Man is a social being and will have social responsibilities. He is accountable for his family. So he may or may not like his job, but it definitely will take a lot out of him. It will be hard work which will strain and tire him. And he has to put up with it. If he wants to lead a respectable life in society, he dare not run away from it. May make sense for him to consciously begin appreciating it. There are many who lead lives doing tasks more menial than his. And many others ready to do tasks more menial than those to survive, but don't get a chance.
You need to make an effort in even love. Yes, love is a genuine feeling from the heart. A sweet pain without knowing which life is incomplete. And this feeling can at times last long. It may be your parent, kin, friend, child, girl(/boy)friend or spouse. Yet, this is a temporal feeling. The first mistake would be to think that this feeling will last so all your life. That if it is getting deeper or more joyful, it will continue to be so all your life. You wouldn't even be able to handle this feeling for one whole day. While it lasts for those blissful fifteen minutes of the day, enjoy it! Too much of anything is abhored, by anyone.
This is not really to say, you do not love the person. This is only to clear the air, on love the feeling. We do love (more than like) some people in our lives. Love is a committment. It can be very unselfish too; you want to give, not expecting anything from the person concerned.Their happiness makes us happy, their sadness fills us with grief. We are ready to go out of our way (to a limit, if we are sensible) to make them happy. We do think about them and care for them. We even do think and do for them, with the best intentions at heart. Love the feeling has a big role to play in this. For these people mean so much to us, because at some time or the other, they have made you experience love the feeling, in different forms (love the feeling towards your mother is different from love the feeling for your girlfriend). Instinct plays a big part as the root of love the feeling, and thus, acts of love.
As life in itself, everything in life is cyclical. Hence you will have fights and tiffs with your loved ones. (Upto a limit) One must expect it, be ready for it and accept it. Your relationships (not necessarily love the feeling) could grow deeper and richer due to these. It should not lead to a hasty severing of ties. If your mother is sick, no matter how bitter the last fight, you will run to her side to take care of her. And she will not be surprised. Humans are gray, not black or white.
Thus you never really will be in a constant high, be it satisfaction in work, romance or relations. And it is due to lack of this understanding, that 'creative' people need intoxicants. Humans by nature are creative in something or the other. Its only that some people spend most of their time in such tasks, and some, much less. Should say there might be no one who has not done anything creative, even if it be his/her own way of doing something, even walking. You have your inimitable style in doing many things, and that pours out of your natural creativity. Now my focus here is on those people who, usually by the nature of their daily jobs, do more creative activities than others. Every creative act, does give you a high. A simple example to explain what I call a creative act; my writing this is creative, but if I were to be copying this from somewhere else, it is not creative. The creative task is thus one that comes from within us. The creative task in itself might be taxing, but the end will definitely give you a high, the extent of which will be in direct proportion to its significance (to you or to others).
Nectar once tasted, leaves its temptation behind. It thus destroys more than it delivers. Those involved in creative jobs, similarly, get attached to that high. They keep wanting more of it. Work after a limit tires us. But greed does not. And hence these people turn to other sources. They may derive a similar high in liquor, lust and/or drugs. It is possible to see a positive impact initially on their daily job (due to increased state of happiness). But either due to the ease in the deriving the high, or due to its addictive nature and lack of individual will, these people get engulfed more and more by the flame of intoxicants. As time passes, they need to consume more of it to derive the same high. Not long after, the negative impacts are shown on their daily jobs and social life.
The first step as always, is obviously awareness. This is a sensitive topic and society cannot interfere without being charged with invasion of privacy. The individual and those who can appeal to him at the emotional level are the only ones who can help draw the line.
At the workplace, perhaps the nature of the job has become less creative for the individual to have thus begun looking for other avenues for satisfaction. Wherever possible, the corporate can introduce change (ambience, project, team), which might appeal to the individual's creative instincts (at least the adjustment to a new environment always does).
However, the best way to keep away from this whirlpool lies in the individual himself. Most sensible people quench the creativity thirst by involving themselves in hobbies they derive joy out of.
Life is a cycle; you never really can have more than your fair share of personal bliss without paying, possibly a higher (physical, mental, social) price for it!

The Memory of Spring

During long winter nights, I long for spring mornings
In the cold as death, I cherish the warmth of sunshine
Symbolized by the green, it is the giver of new life
When ice breaks into water, purity it shows in true

With love and beauty, radiating around us
There is new hope, in every fresh breath
The flowers at their sight, fill us with joy
And the tune of the birds, bring out an elusive smile

O Meri Sakhi

O Meri Sakhi, Meri Pyari Sakhi
Teri Zulfon se khelunga main

O Meri Sakhi, Meri Pyari Sakhi
Tujhko Baahon mein leloonga main

Teri Dil Mein Samaake, phir usko churaake
Teri Neendon mein jaagunga main

Verses for the day - Dec 21

In my luck, I have faith no more
If victory does come, it would not, lucky be

I am not interested, in making friends with you
For I have loved her, and so have you

Who am I, to write you a poem
Who are you, that anyone write you a poem

A princess should not, an ordinary man love
Beggars see stars, they have no ceilings to watch

Another me, not one in haste
Of intense feelings, and liesurely days
Have written these poems, words from my heart
In rhythm unknown, to a calculated mind

Slowly but surely, in mud will i crumble
Slowly immersing, in deep waters will i dissolve
Slowly with intensity, will i rise among the flames

A Life Wasted

Mean and cold
As the stone in winter
Rusted and old
As iron not long been lustred

Serving couplets and playing dice
This life was one, spent in vice
Seething tempers and marital discords
All happened, of my own accord

Yet I lie on the diwan, awaiting my Lord
To still be merciful, take me to his abode

Control

Creativity reads, the mood of the mind
As the breeze knows, each bit of the world
Whether tragedies strike, or souls realize
The wind blows, carrying stories untold

Who are we, but creatures of time
Seeing each other, by warp of this mind
My heart cries, must the eyes have tears
Even the fingers type, and the body still holds

Hope

In pain my heart, cleanses my soul
In dirt, my body, earned lustre unknown
To give is to get, to keep is death
Let go every bond, find peace in your own

No battles are lost, when none were fought
But in deep recesses of mind, will always be hope
Someday, sometime, perhaps in a different world
We will meet, for, your love I have known